Dominant

Chapter 19

I throw piece by piece of my clothes into my suitcase as Mark stands at the door. "You can't just leave, Ryland!" He says, irritated.

"Watch me." I mumble "You don't care about me. You can't even say you love me. Give me one good reason why I should stay here with you!"

Mark thinks for a minute before gently reaching out and grabbing my hand. "Come with me." He whispers.

"For fuck's sake, Mark, I'm not in the mood." I say as he begins to walk towards his room.

"Jesus, that's not what we are doing, stop saying shit like that." He pulls me into his room before closing and locking the door. I stare at Mark as he begins to yank off his clothes piece by piece. I scuff slightly.

"If you think getting nude is gonna make me stay you are fucking insane." I say in disbelief.

He looks to me, all that remains are his boxers. "I will prove myself to you Ryland. I haven't been... What I wanna be. I wanna be yours. And I'm trying but I have never felt like this so I need help to understand and the only way I can prove that to you... Is this." Mark walks over to the riding crop that laid on the floor and places it in my hand. "I want you to punish me. When I can't give you the answer you think you deserve. I want you to punish me. The way I have done to you." He says in distaste as he walks to the middle of the floor and kneels down.

"Mark, I'm not doing this." I say, laughing slightly.

"I want to prove myself!... Give me that chance, please." He says, his head falling down. I stare at him for just a moment before slowly walking to him on the ground.

"Why did you do this to the other staff. To those girls? To the guys? Everyone before me... What did they do that I don't?" I whisper.

"I just wanted sex." He says softly. I grip the crop and slap it across his back, cringing at the slight grunt he made. "Hit me harder next time, don't hold back." He says sternly.

"What. Did they do? That I don't?..."

"I just wanted to dominate them for a quick fuck when I wanted it." I slap it across his back hard as he whimpers in pain. As fucked up as it sounds. It is nice to get answers. And give him a taste of his own medicine.

"WHAT DID THEY DO THAT I DONT!?"

"THEY DIDNT STOP ME!"

We go quiet for a second and I just stare at him "They hated every second of it. And I hated them for it but they never stopped me. I got madder and madder until I couldn't take it to bury myself in them, so I made them leave."

I gulp and tear up. "Why can't you say you love me?"

"I want to." He says softly. I hit across his back and he yelps out. Okay, maybe that one was a bit hard.

"THEN WHY CAN'T YOU SAY IT?!"

"I CAN! I DO I JUST.... I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE! I HAVE NEVER BEEN EXPOSED AND SCARED AND VULNERABLE!" I hit across his back again as he lays his hands on the floor now in pain.

"Say it. I want to hear you say it." I say sternly, tears blurring my vision. I hate seeing him like this.

"I can't." He whimpers. I hit the crop against his back harder as he screams out in agony.

"SAY IT! PROVE TO ME THAT I HAVENT FALLEN FOR A LIE! PROVE TO ME THAT YOU WANT TO WALK ME DOWN AN AISLE AND KISS ME AND HOLD ME. PROVE TO ME THAT I'M NOT GONNA END UP LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND FUCKING SAY IT!"

Mark's head falls in shame as he sobs quietly "I... I want to Ryland. I'm trying. I want to! I WANT TO!" He yells, tears falling down his red face. I hit across his back as he yelps out. I drop the crop and he looks up at me "Why did you put it down? What are you doing?" he says shaking. I wipe my eyes and shake my head in defeat.

"If you can't even say it. In agony. I can't ever expect you to say it to me. I knew it was too good to be true." I say, heartbroken. Mark stares at me in fear as I walk towards the door.

"STOP!" He says crying. "Please..."

"I'm sorry Mark. But this is my limit." I unlock the door, opening it.

"I... I-I LOVE YOU!" I hear him scream behind me. I pause in my tracks, slowly turning around and looking at him. Mark struggles to stand up and walks to me, wincing with every step before falling to his knees in front of me. "I love you. I am madly in love with you. It hurts. I have wanted to die for not admitting that. I wanted to put a bullet through my head at the thought of another man kissing you the way I love to. I have fallen so madly in love with you. It's the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced. I don't want another man holding you at night. Watching you sway in the kitchen while listening to music as you cook breakfast. I don't want any other man to watch you when you wake up with your hair a mess and a cheesy smile on your face and I don't want any other man to have a life with you. I want it all. Every smile. Every look. Every hip sway and argument. Every kid, every wedding arrangement and every breath until the last. I only want it with you. I'm scared. I'm begging you to stay. Because god damn it, I don't think I can deal with myself without you for one more minute." He says softly. His hands grab mine as I stare at him in disbelief.

"I love you, Mark." I whisper

He smiles, wiping his tears. "And I love you, Ryland."

I smile widely and feel tears run down my cheeks as I tackle him on the ground in a deep kiss. "I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you." I say crying. I just wanna hear him say it forever.

"I love you,too." Mark repeats softly.