The Future Of Us: The kids grew up!

Fight part two

I run into the house, slamming doors behind me until I reach the bar. The only place I feel will help numb my feelings enough to face Brad.

He doesn't bother following, he knows better than to chase after me when we're arguing. He's almost too good at hiding from our problems, more often than not creating more... just like today, and the last few weeks.

Ally and Josh sit on the couch quietly when I walk out, hardly moving at all. They're all scared of me, scared of all the yelling and tension that has filled this house recently, leaving it way more uncomfortable than I ever imagined it would be.

Finally, Ally gets up, suggesting they go for Starbucks.

"Are you going to talk to me now? Tell me if I did something wrong?"

Brad slowly gets closer, reaching out for his own glass.

"I don't know what I did, or how to fix it if you don't elaborate."

I take a second to compose myself, anger rushing over me as I come to terms with the fact that I somehow married someone so dumb that he does not know his comments are wrong.

He backs away, seeing the anger fill me as I manage to speak.

"You're unbelievable! You don't have any idea what you did wrong? No idea at all? How about we start with the 'jokes' you made about the girls and I sharing clothes... or I don't know, maybe what you whispered to me? Do you honestly think that critiquing me and my body in front of another family and our children is okay? That it isn't hurtful and asinine?"

By this point, he knows his limits. He knows he's on shallow ground, which I use to my advantage.

"I don't know why I married such an asshole! You treat me like a piece of garbage lately! Never defending me, acting like I'm a freaking chore! Leaving for hours without so much as a text letting me know you're okay... this isn't how a freaking marriage works!"

"Do you think you've made any of this easy on me either? I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, Jen! One wrong move recently and it's like I've ruined your whole life! We used to joke about things all the time! We were the funny people, the house everyone came to for laughter. Now it's like I look at you wrong and I automatically hate you!"

The tension grows stronger. We can hardly be within feet of each other, the fear of actually strangling my husband comes across me, thinking it might be the only way to get a point across. His words hurt, each one digging into my heart further, making it harder to breathe... harder to concentrate on making our relationship work instead of just leaving.

"You don't even talk to me anymore, Brad! We can hardly be in the same room unless the kids are with us to have all our attention. Even at night, we're there, but it's like we're in two different worlds. Worlds ready to explode if they collide. I just can't keep doing this. Our marriage means more to me than I ever expected, but I can't keep letting you treat me like this, this whole walking all over me thing is getting old, and fast."

For the first time in weeks, I get emotion out of him. He wasn't ready to hear those words, have the thoughts of me being done run through his head. As the tears start flowing, I know he's about to lose it.

"We can't just give up on us. Almost 30 years, 26 of it married, we can't just act like it doesn't mean anything. I know things have been hard, and I've been an asshole. I'll admit it, but you haven't been making anything easy either! You say we don't talk, but I'm not the only one that can start a conversation! This is both of us, Jen! Not just me!"