never ever had I thought

Chapter 12

We must have been gone for over an hour, which is a long time for someone who is not supposed to be leaving at all, but when Shawn follows me into my dad's office he just smiles at us. I put my dad's coffee on the desk. We nearly forgot to bring him one. My brother is nowhere to be seen. Shawn barely gets to set foot into the office before he gets a text and I see in his perfect facial expressions that he has to go.

''Jess, can I talk to you?''. He nods me to the hallway. 

''I really had a good time today''. Wonder if he sees me blushing, the hallway is kinda dark, but I'm pretty sure my face is bright red. 

''Me too. Thank you so much''. All the way home I insisted that I payed for my coffee and ice cream, but he wouldn't let me. I'm about to turn around when he asks me another question. 

''Do you have Snapchat?'' or ''Do you use snapchat?''. He scratches his neck, laughs and hands me his phone. I add myself and accidentally see the mail icon. Almost 12.000 emails. I give him the phone back with a smile. I'm not quite ready to leave him so I ask him who was texting him. ''It was Andrew. The picture is of the media, but of course there may be screenshots and so on. But stuff like this happens all the time, so don't worry''. Even though that was so thoughtful of him to tell me, it didn't help. His phone *bling* again and my dad calls on me. We part ways. No hug, no handshaking or whatever. He's Shawn Mendes, doesn't he hug everyone? Why is it so difficult for me?

I go back to the office and sit on one of the chairs. 

My dad is casually looking through some papers while answering all of my questions.

It turns out: Karen (Shawn's mom) helped my dad sell his former house, cause she's a real estate agent. Which btw is one of my dream jobs. So technically our parents are friends.

They kept in touch and apparently making playdates with me and Shawn once a year after I was born. It stopped when my mom died. Which is 10 years ago. I just don't get how I've forgotten.

After a couple of hours just sitting in a chair staring out of the window, it's finally time to go back to the hotel. Apparently, Blake got a babysitter. She looks really sweet, maybe I could get to know her. Dad introduces her as the new actor for the music video. She smiles at me, a 'I'm better than you' smile. She's playing lego with my brother. MY brother. She laughs at something and even that annoys me. What the hell is wrong with me? Is this feeling called jealousy? Gosh, I really hope not.

I check my phone at least 30 times on the way back, but there's nothing. Not from Shawn, not Ali and not Maddison. I tried calling them but none of them answered. It's almost 10 PM before I get a snap of some very curly dark hair. 

It says ''You'll be on set tomorrow?''. It takes me multiple minutes to try getting a decent shot of less than half my face. Like basically only my hair. I feel like I'm copying him, but I'm too tired to try again. 

''Yup. I guess I'm technically still grounded''. Does he really want to see me again? I feel something twisting in my stomach and I smile. I think I'm starting to like his guy. Celebrity or not.

The next morning I wake up with my phone on my chest. I must have fallen asleep with it in my hands. I've gotten 2 snaps and 1 call. Both the snaps are from Shawn and the call from an unknown number. I check the snaps first. 

The first one is that he feels bad for hoping I'm still grounded, so ill show up on set and the second one is sent 5 hours ago saying goodnight. At 3 AM the snap is off his guitar. 

I sent him a new one. 'Working late huh?' and a picture of the hotel lobby. My dad, Blake and I are going on set early today. Shawn probably won't be there, thinking about how late he stayed up. I sigh to myself, getting in the car. Blake won't stop talking about that new actor and how good she is at playing LEGO. In my eyes, she's really just an annoying girl trying to steal my brother who I'm not allowed to babysit anymore. I spend all morning as my dads assistant. Bringing coffee, taking phone calls, AND checking snapchat. Still nothing. 

As soon as I get a moment alone, I call Alison. She doesn't pick up, so I pull myself together and call M. This will be interesting. She picks up immediately. Guess she got her phone back from Ali. ''Wondered how long it would take you to call''. She saw the pic. 

''I'm sorry Maddie'' It's not a lie. I am sorry about not telling her about Shawn. 

''Are you a couple?'' she's on the edge of tearing up. 

''Gosh no! What the hell. I don't even know the guy''. Not entirely true, but close enough. 

''Listen, Maddie, my dad is working for him so there's not much I can do about it. I'm sorry if you're jealous or something, but this is faith or luck or what you wanna call it''. Now she's really in tears. 

''It's just not fair. I've loved him for 3 years and I haven't even been to one of his concerts. You don't even know his middle names and there he is flirting with you!''. 

''If it helps, I don't think he's flirting with me and nothings gonna happen. He's in a whole other building and I'm stuck here''. I hear snivel on the other end. 

''I've just imagined this a million times. I'm sorry, I freaked out, but you should really learn how to stay connected with your friends. What about when you go on a trip around the world? Won't you call?''. Going to every country in the world was my dream when I was little. It still is. Now I'm just too realistic to make it a plan instead of a dream. She continues on the phone ''Maybe you will go on a world tour one day'' she says before hanging up on me.