never ever had I thought

Chapter 39

It's worth everything to see Shawn's engagement and enthusiasm which he puts into the music video. It was really fun to shoot it despite being in almost every scene with a dusin people fixing my hair every 2 minutes.

One thing I'm absolutely sure of is the fact that I'm head over heels in love with Shawn Mendes. Another thing I'm sure of is that he feels the same. Yet we're not officially dating, we haven't once talked about what this is.

And soon it'll be too late. I'm going home today, in a few hours actually.

My dad has agreed to let Shawn drive me to the airport. I'm more scared of leaving him then I am of being on the plane, and that says a lot!

''What do you wanna do?'' Shawn asks, fake enthusiasm holding him up.

I shrug ''Not leave''

''I know. You still haven't convinced your dad about L.A?''

The VMA is next week, and going would mean I got to spend about three days in the company of Shawn pretty much unbothered. Except for maybe Camila, but that's fine by me.

My dad won't let me go. ''Not quite''

''I'm in New York in September'' Shawn says.

''That's in two months and it's for less than a day'' I point out.

''Let's just enjoy today'' he pushes me off his chest and puts on a shirt. Then he offers me his hand and we walk out of his room and into the living room. We sit on the white couch and he pulls one of his many guitars out.

He hums the same beautiful melody he's been doing the last few weeks while gently playing on the strings of the guitar.

''Maybe love is complicated, maybe love is kind.

Right now love is everything on my mind.

My head is exploding, my heart about to break,

this feeling in my chest is called ache.

I feel it when you're near, more when you disappear.

Love's supposed to be complicated,

it's not always kind.

your love was meant to be mine''

I'm crying when he's done.

''That bad huh?'' he says.

I hit him ''It's beautiful, when did you start working on it?''

''When I met you''

A few hours later we're at the airport, the whole ride has been us talking about our memories together. We promise to facetime each other and when you think about it Toronto is not that far from New York. It can work.

We walk hand in hand to terminal 4, this is only a 'see you soon' moment but it feels like a goodbye. I need to know where we stand, and it doesn't seem to come up naturally so I ask.

''What is this?'' he must have thought of the same because he knows exactly what I mean.

''What do you want?'' I know what I want, you.

''What do you want?'' I ask.

He's quick to respond ''For this to be forever''

''I would very much like that too''

''We're doing this?'' the boyish laugh is back on his face.

''I think we are''

He lifts me up and spin us around till we're both dizzy, not just of the spinning, but of love. I wish I could explain how the sound of his laugh gives me butterflies, how his smile makes my heart skip a beat and how when I'm with him I feel so complete.

I kiss him right here in front of all the travelers on their way to new adventures. Because I've already found mine.

I pull way wanting to ask him one more thing before getting on the plane with my family.

''Shawn, can I have your number now?''

Thats it! Thanks for reading.

P.s I wrote the song/poem myself