never ever had I thought

Chapter 30

I hear something click, it sounds just like when you turn the lights on, but both of Shawns hands are covering my eyes and most of my face as well. 

So, who turned on the lights? 

It all falls into place in my head a second before it happens. Shawn removes his hands as everyone jumps up from their hiding spots. People with drinks in their hands pop up from literally everywhere. Behind the white couch, from under the armchair, the balcony... I look at the faces, there's not a lot of people, like Shawn promised. But considering the party is for me, in a country where I know no one, there's more than I expected. I see a few of the guys from set. They're my age. Gordon and Malcolm I think. Matt I know a little. Never seen him, but heard so much that it feels like I know him. He's one of Shawn's oldest friends from high school. A brunette girl who's standing in the corner, also looks familiar. She's looking somewhere between me and Shawn. Apparently Shawn still has his arm around my shoulders. It occurs to me that a dusin people is looking at me. Me.

They all stop yelling and the apartment is now completely quiet. You would have been able to hear a needle drop. Shawn lets me go and I turn to see what's up. His hold on me was almost the only thing stopping me from dropping to my knees. He starts humming a very familiar melody. Shawn starts 'happy birthday' and the others fall in. He keeps my eyes looked with his.

That song always reminds me of Ali's 8th birthday, when she stood on a chair while we sang to her and on the last note, she went to do a bow, tripping directly down onto the cake. We ended up making s'mores. I miss her.

Like it was timed, it probably was if I know Shawn right, the elevator pops open in the end of the song. I'm afraid to look. Either it's my dad ruining my birthday or Shawn did something I can never return. Our eyes are still locked, as footsteps are getting closer. Shawn steps closer like I'll ever be able to look away now. He puts his hands on my shoulders and carefully turns me, facing the latest arriving.

The first I see is that their arms are linked. The next is their dresses. One of them from my closet back in NY. I would have recognised them from a hundreds meters away, but somehow I don't believe that they're only an arms reach away right in his moment. I'm so overwhelmed by seeing Ali and Maddie that I fall right into Shawns arms.

''Okay?'' Shawn whispers in my ear, so close that no one could have noticed his lips brushing against my earlobe before gently lifting me back onto my feet. I try to nod, but I'm not sure my head is moving. Ali takes the first step and I throw myself in her arms. I look up from Ali's shoulder and see Maddie's already fixated on Shawn. I drag her into my my arms anyway.

I let go of my friends and look around till I find Shawn saying hi to Matt. He's smiling like a little kid who just got their first piece of sweets. I think a party is just what both of us need.

''Happy birthday bestie! I'm so happy for you'' Ali says, but I only hear parts of my friends conversations.

''Jess?'' Maddie snaps me back.

''Yes. Go say hi to him! I know you've been dying to'' I say.

Ali looks at me. ''Later. Right now, you should go say something to your man''

That brings me back. But Maddie corrects her. ''Friend. Hot friend. You do clearly not look like anything more than that''

I hesitate. Feeling a bit rude towards Ali and Maddie, but also a little awkward by the fact I'll intereup Shawn's and Matt's conversation.