never ever had I thought

Chapter 31

My intention is to go thank Shawn for everything that he has done today. But what happens is something completely different.

Ali and Maddie assure me it's fine and that they'll go get a drink. I ask them to make me one too. I walk towards the white couch where Shawn is standing with arms crossed and with focus on Matts hair. I don't have to get very close before, to my surprise, Matt calls me over.

''Jess, look!'' He points to the top of his head and leans forward so I can get a better look. I study his hair as closely as Shawn had, but it doesn't look different from the times Shawn has facetimed him. I give him an apologizing look.

''Ha! Your hair has always looked like that dude'' Shawn says. He has a beer in his hand. A girl calls Matt over to the kitchen, that's also used as bar. It's the girl who looks faintly familiar. I turn my attention to Shawn, who's now sitting on the armrest and I can't help but pray nobody will spill their drink on the beautiful couch.

''What's up?'' Shawn asks.

''Did you...Ali and Maddie...'' It's harder than I thought, but I think he knows where I'm headed. He nods towards a door and I follow him inside. A few whistle sounds drowns the music, but I don't think much of it till I see where we are. 

It's Shawn's bedroom. 

It's so simple, but so him with the small details and it's nearly too overwhelming.

I comfort myself with the thought of my friends waiting with a drink, when I'm done here. But it could also wait to another time right?

''What's up? Are you okay Jess?'' Shawn repeats. I nod. It can't wait.

So I ask him a leading question.''How did you get Alison and Madison to come?''

''If I payed you mean?'' He gives that 'didn't you figure that out yet' look.

''You can't just fly my friends to Canada'' Or I mean he can, but he can't.

''I knew you really wanted them here, so it's my present''

''But I also really want a Porsche, but that doesn't mean I have to get it'' I hope he understands the point I'm trying to make. ''And by the way you already gave me a gift''

He puts his cup down on the nightstand and turns to me.

''The headband?'' he asks. ''You thought I would give you a headband?''

''Yes! Why should you even get me anything? I still owe you 19 coffees''

He laughs. But when I don't, he asks me dead serious. ''You keep track?''

I roll my eyes. ''But back to the point'' I take a deep breath and he takes a step closer.

''Just don't give me anything, when I can't give the same to you''. He takes another step and it gets harder to concentrate on breathing and talking at the same time. ''It's just not fair''.

''So, let's say we're going to prom'' He's now so close that I have to look up, to unwillingly meet his gaze. ''It would be tradition for the boy, me, to give you a corsage right?''

I can't disagree with that, so I nod.

''I would also be in charge of getting us there, not to talk about all the non-alcoholic drinks I would get you'' His smile makes me see all the colors from the carnival again.

''The girl'' he continues ''You would have spend hours on your beautiful dress, makeup and hair. Making it all worth it for me. You can pay me back without it involving money. Forgive me please''. He doesn't let my face turn the familiar shade of pink, before kissing me. My hands automatically finds their way to his neck, playing with his curls and his on my waist and like we're still in the carousel. I feel dizzy. But a good kind, like it's only us and we're dancing. ''And I didn't mean it as dirty as it may have sounded''