Without You

chapter thirtytwo

Eva

We just landed in New York and I'm still in my funk. This is exactly what I'm talking about. There's always something with me and Jack.

Like it can never ever just be us, being happy, and everything to be okay. It's exhausting. He hasn't been answering my phone calls or texts, and Makayla said he's acting like nothings bothering him or he's hiding it really well.

She said all day today they just been hanging out at his house, he had a few friends he hasn't seen in a while all come over and they went swimming and had a cookout I guess?

I don't know what's going to happen between us and to be quiet honest I'm scared. WE JUST GOT BACK TOGETHER GOD PLEASE DON'T END US.

I'm scared as fuck to talk to him in person. If he breaks up with me again this will really be the end. I can't keep doing this back and forth shit. We're not kids anymore.

Cookie booked us nice rooms in a luxurious hotel, it's really late so I'm just going to go straight to bed.

I get to my room and bring my suitcase in and don't even bother doing anything expect plug my phone into the charger and take off my shoes.

I curl up into a ball against the cold bed and I just lay there, mentally worn out.

I'm so dumb, I should've just never went and hung out with Cameron.

I was stupid to do that.

So fucking stupid.

Next morning

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped my body in a nice white towel.

I walked into the room and started drying off my body.

I put on my outfit and slipped on my heels.

I walked back into my bathroom and blow dried my hair, curling it.

I did my makeup and then did some other things before grabbing my things and walking out of the hotel room.

The door man took my bags and we walked outside to the busy street of New York City, over to the sleek black limo.

He opens the door for me and I step in, seeing Cookie, Jamal, and Hakeem.

"Hello guys." I smile cheerily even though I'm far from it.

They all return the greeting and Hakeem eyes my boobs, "damn ma, did you wear that for me?"

I roll my eyes and put on my sun glasses.

I pulled up my phone and clicked on the IMessage icon.

Then on Jack's name.

Me- I wish I could hear your voice. I miss it. Please talk to me..

I sent it and stared at the message until it delivered.

My eyes light up when I see that he reads it.

I keep waiting for the little bubble to pop up that indicates he's replying. It never does, and before I know it we park and I look up to see that we are the building where our meetings are.

It's killing me that he's ignoring me. It hurts.

Jack

I put my phone back into my pocket as my director is talking to me and Johnson about what we're gonna do for our first video.

I haven't been talking to Eva because I just need time to think. Should I believe her? Did Cameron really just randomly kiss her? Did she really push him off?

I just don't know what to believe, trust me, a large part of me wants to believe Eva but I wasn't there to know what actually happened.

Even if she didn't kiss him, I still feel betrayed and hurt.

It almost feels like I can't trust her, I mean she didn't even tell me she was with him.

What if she just told me that out of guilt?

Eva

"Alright So Eva, we've been throwing ideas out all morning and we're going to pitch a few to you and see what you think." The tall woman in a pink pantsuit was talking to me, standing infront of a large screen tv.

I was sitting in a conference room with about 13 other people. However my mind was only focused on one person, who was no where near us.

She continued, "alright so we've been brought to the idea that you live here in New York for a few months, working with our songwriters and producers and start working on an album. I know this is sudden but this could be a huge step for you, you get the best professional help and we start off your career in the best place."

I sat up in my seat, "wait you want me to move to New York?" I look over at Cookie and she has a smile on her face. She must of knew about this, this is why the meetings were being held here.

So I could meet the producers and songwriters and she could have a better chance of convincing me to move here.

Oh jeez I don't know about this. I just fucking moved to California, I can't leave everything behind and up and move to New York.

What about Jack? I don't want us to be over, I already know how he feels about long distance and he knows how I feel, we both don't think it works out. There's just no point in having someone miss out on opportunity's when your across the country.

And we will be on completely opposite sides of the United States. This is scary, they really want me to live in the big city alone.

"I uh- I don't know" I stammer out, cookie intertwines, "Honey I think it's the perfect idea! It's only going to be for 2-3 months and from then on out your career in the music industry will be far above anyone else who works with Empire."

The lady, that I still don't know the name of, chimes in on the debate, "we've never launched this idea to anyone else, we all really believe you have amazing talent and could make yourself and us a lot of money, but we also want to suppress your talent as much as we can because we all have faith that you could be the greatest!"

- - -

I make my way out to the car that's waiting to take me to the airport for my flight to Nebraska, when I'm stopped by Jamal.

"Hey Eva, I wanted to talk to you for a minute." I turn around and face him, "Jamal why didn't you tell me about this?"

His face fell and he said, "Eva I know we don't know each other on that personal level, but as one artist to another, this is a huge door that's standing open. Don't let it close."