Without You

chapter fifteen

First day in Panama City
Eva

I haven't spoken to anyone since Jack broke up with me.

It's been exactly 27 hours and it still hurts the same.

We've stopped numerous times along the way to Panama and I haven't left my bunk once.

We pull up to the hotel I think and I finally decided to get up, I'm tired of being in a fucking box.

I don't even know what to do anymore. Like I'm literally numb. I don't know what to say or think. Do I act like I'm okay? Do I cry to everyone and try to feel better?

I just don't understand how he could do such a thing like that. He told me he wanted to be with me forever, clearly his forever wasn't actually forever.

I grab all of my bags and walk off of the tour bus, unfortunately I was the last one off and everyone was watching me as I walked off.

I kept my head down and silently prayed everyone would stop watching me. I hated this attention.

I glanced up and my eyes fell on jack, he quickly looked away. Great.

Now this is going to suck.

Jack

We walk into the hotel and get our rooms situated, I'm with Cameron, Johnson, and Nash.

My eyes scanned the list and it read that Eva is in a room with Madison, Mahogany, and Makayla.

I figured.

Honestly I'm lost without my other half.

But I need to stay strong and give her space to really become herself and be happy again. I don't know what to expect in the future, I always thought I'd have her next to me to figure it out.

I just know there won't be another girl for a long time.

Nash comes up to me and says, "okay the beach is the move. We're all gonna get ready and go."

I nodded and looked around for Cameron because he has our room key.

I look to the right of me and see him and Eva talking. Well he's talking to her and she's keeping her head hung low.

All I want to do is hug her, but then I remember I'm the reason she's upset.

Plus Cameron's ass was probably living for this day.

The day my Eva isn't mine anymore.

Damn.

Eva

"He's an idiot for doing that to you. I'm sorry Eva" Cameron's soothing words crowed me and I just wanted to be alone.

But I'm not going to lie, he was helping me feel a little bit better. Makayla knows I need my space and I'll come and talk to her when I'm ready, I haven't gotten the chance yet but I will.

I nodded, my eyes staying glued to the ground that was bright due to the beautiful sunshine that I couldn't even enjoy.

"Thanks Cameron." I tried to smile but you could tell it was forced.

He rubbed my arms soothingly and said "let's go to the beach and get your mind off of it"

That might just work. I could use a good tan.

Cameron

I've been waiting for this day for over a month.

Jack Gilinsky really must be the dumbest person I know. He's letting the best thing go and doesn't even give a fuck.

I don't know exactly what happened between them but all I know is that I would never leave Eva like he did. He's an asshole.

I walk with Eva to the elevators and we all enter, we all meaning me, her, Jj, Makayla, jack, Nash, and Madison.

The other elevator was filled with our group as well.

It was quiet until Eva's phone started dinging like crazy.

She pulled it out of her back pocket and scrolled through it, her mouth hung open as she started shaking her head.

She turned towards Jack and looked at him with shock.

"Jack. I- um sorry never ah nevermind."

Eva

I wanted to tell jack the amazing news but just for a second I forgot that we weren't together anymore.

I turned my phone off and sighed internally and shook my head at how stupid I am. The elevator dinged and I was walking out of it faster than everyone else. I needed to get away from him.

I felt like crying all over again. I'm so stupid and I look dumb for that.

I'm so stupid.

I felt someone rush up to me, a big part of me wanted to turn around and see Jack, I closed my eyes and stopped walking.

I turned around and came face to face with exactly who I expected it to be.

"What did you want to say?"

His eyes looked so curious and puppy like.

His lips were slightly parted and had a tender smile to them, indicating he really did want to know what I was so excited about.

I forgot that he asked me a question and quickly composed my thoughts and answered him, "I um, I'm doing a song with James Bay. You know his song Us, well he contacted Empire and wants to feature me on it!"

He seemed so happy for me. He went into hug me and believe me I wanted to hug him back but I raised my hand to stop his chest.

He slowly put his arms down and the realization came across his face, "I'll see you later okay?"

I quickly turned around and kept going, leaving him.

Woah. This feels different, and I honestly hate it.