Why does it have to be so hard? Roman Godfrey X Reader

Chapter 38

You sit in the chair watching while Peter and Letha are talking, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, hugging and kissing. They seem so happy. You are happy for Letha, but you envy her. Her perfect family and life. Compared to your life, her life seems like a heaven.

You sigh and raise your legs on the chair, hugging them. You press your chin on your knees and stare into the emptiness. You focus on thinking about your rough life. You miss your mother, even if it have been over ten years after her death. You can't remember much, but you remember her being kind and loving person, who loved you with all your heart. Sudden anger fills you, hate towards your father. You want to make him suffer, make him feel sorry. Hurt him. You want some justice for your mother...you want to kill him.

You didn't even realise you were crying, until Roman kneels front of you. He puts his hand on your wet cheek. You move your gaze on his beautiful green eyes, which are full of worry.

"What's wrong?", he asks in a soft tone.

You don't know how to answer. So many things are wrong. Your father wanting to kill you, your mother's death, your whole life. But at this moment, only one thing is spinning in your head.

"I need to kill him. Not today, not tomorrow, but I need to do it. He deserves that", you say staring at Roman's eyes, fire in your eyes.

"What? Who?", Roman asks squinting his eyes.

"My father", you spit out and stand up, moving Roman out of your way, when you walk out.

Peter is sitting on the edge of the bathtub, alone. Letha and Norman already left. He blinks his eyes on confusion, when you walk past him.

Roman starts following you, giving a shrug and a head shake to Peter, when he walks past him.

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You sit arms crossed on the passenger seat, when Roman sits in the car. He pulls his hand through his hair and then puts his hands against the wheel. Pressing it hard, making his knuckels turn white.

He stares front a while and then he tilts his head towards you. His plumb lips seperate as he asks:

"What the fuck was that?"

You turn to look at his eyes. Which are full of different emotions. Sadness, anger, worry, confusion.

"What do you mean?", you ask.

"You have changed. I don't know, if you have turn stronger or just a fucking stupid", Roman says slowly.

You narrow your eyebrows at him.

"Fuck you. Why can't you understand? You should know what I am about. But let's stop this, this isn't leading to anything good. And weren't we suppose to go check on Shelley?", you ask. You really aren't on the mood of fighting and you are worried about Shelley.

Roman turns the car on and you turn your head to look out from the window.

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You look yourself from the bathroom mirror. You are naked, because you are going to take a shower. Your whole body is hairy and your hair is messy. It's been at least two days since you showered. And you don't remember when was the last time you shaved.

"Disgusting", you say under your breath and step in the shower.

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After a long refreshing shower you walk to the kitchen. You smile at the sight, Roman and Shelley are hugging in the middle of the kitchen. You have always wished, that you would have a sister or a brother, who would be there for you.

"Cute", you say, when you walk past them. You are about to get some food, but then you see everything on the floor.

"Those mother fucking idiots", you whisper.

You turn around and see Shelley and Roman staring at you. You give them a look of 'why the hell are you two staring at me'.

"We should probably clean this. And I can make some pasta for you after that, okay?", you say very clearly.

"Y/N, you are very kind", Shelley's monotonic voice says and she smiles.

"Thank you Shelley. But you are way more kind than me. Are you okay, by the way? I forgot to ask", you ask walking closer to her.

She nods with a smile and then she walks fastly towards you and puts her arms around you, lifting you up from the ground. You laugh.

Roman, who is behind Shelley, smiles to you, but you just glare at him and look away.

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About an hour later, you are washing the dishes after your pretty delicious dinner. You are tired, ready to go bed. Your eyes are half closed and the dishbrush is loosely on your hand. Then a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist.

"Fuck!", you scream and drop the dishbrush on the sink with a loud clank.

"It's just me", Roman says taking his arms off.

"Don't do that again", you say turning towards him.

You stare at Roman. He only has a towel wrapped around his waist. He looks so handsome right now. Fresh showered. His hair is still wet and water drops are all over his body.

"I'm sorry about the earlier. I was just so...", Roman starts put you interrup he with a kiss.

"I don't care", you say and put your arms around his neck.

He is confused at first, but soon he starts being himself. He puts his arms back around you and keeps you really close, when he slids his tongue in your mouth. He pushes you against the counter and starts removing your shirt.

"Not...in...here", you say between the kisses.

He lifts you up on his arms and carries you to his bedroom. He throws you to the bed and...well you can guess the rest.