Fate

Chapter Forty One

Word Count: 1486

~Zayla

I'm so numb, I'm almost suspended by my disbelief.

Seeing those words had me freezing, the book slipping from my fingers. The impact of it on the ground almost completely ruined it, some frayed papers fluttering out across the carpet. I'm holding my breath, I can feel the pressure in my lungs, but I'm too scared to breathe out because I know I'm going to gasp uncontrollably.

I'm consumed in so many feelings. Anger, frustration, confusion and disbelief. This can't be happening right now. This can't be my...fate.

I'm not sure how I should feel.

When you find your mate, it should be celebrated with gushing smiles and butterflies of excitement fluttering in your stomach. Instead I sit here, confused. The revelation has cleared a mist in my mind. It allows me to understand the feelings I often tried to hide from Fate, afraid he would notice.

However, a pit of dread has opened up within me, sucking in all my worry, fear and confusion, producing a dark feeling of something else.

I'm livid.

I'm livid at myself for not seeing it. And at Fate, for not telling me, and acting the way he did. I need to find him, to ask him why. Why this has been happening, and why he kept this from me for so long. I need to see him, to get some kind of answer. However, I'm unsure how he feels about me right now.

As I bend down to retrieve Fate's diary, a note falls out of my pocket. It's form Thea, to Jasper. I really need to visit my father first. Get him out of here before I deal with Fate.

Pushing away all the thoughts rushing around my head, I walk to his room.

I find him lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, hands folded over his stomach. He's been doing that a lot recently, wallowing in his own thoughts. I've been too mad at him too care, but seeing it now tugs at my heart. He doesn't deserve what he has been put through. Despite the decisions he made years ago.

He sits up once he notices me standing in the door. He looks frantic, as he almost falls off the bed, sweeping me up into a big hug.

I let him.

"I'm so sorry. I'm selfish and stupid, and I made a bad decision. I don't deserve you as a daughter," he tells me, voice muffled in my hair. I hold him back, because as a child, I never had the chance to. And as much as that breaks my heart, I can't truly blame him for it.

"Sit down," I murmur, pulling away. He does, as I stand in front of him. He watches me as I pull the note out of my pocket, and hand it to him.

"What's this?" he questions, slowly folding it out.

I don't say anything, letting him discover himself. I never had the chance to read what she had wrote, and part of me is grateful for it. This is private, between two mates who love each other very much. And I can tell as soon as Jasper's eyes read the words upon the paper, he lost in the love that is still shared, despite being in different realms completely.

"You saw her. Your mother," Jasper says gently, folding the paper back up again, once he was done. "What do you think of her."

"I didn't see her much, but she seems lovely. She promised we would see her again," I tell him, coming to sit next to him on the bed. He grabs my hand, holding it tightly. I relish in the feeling, knowing that despite what he did, I still love him.

Jasper smiles. "I miss her."

"The doors are open. You can go now. I hope you find a way to bring mother back, rather than go back to her again," I tell him. As much as I want to beg him not to take his own life again, I have to let him make his own decisions. He's my father, and what he wants to do in order to get his mate back, is up to him. I just hope I'll be able to see my mother and father again soon.