taron egerton ~ oneshots

butterflies and pink cheeks pt. 2

hey guys I got a lot of positive feedback from the last oneshot both on here and on tumblr so I'm going to go ahead and write pt 2 of that! I think I'm going to make this into a 3 part series. This part is taron's POV and background, and then the third part will be what happened next. Hope you enjoy this :))

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𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬

My friends have no idea. It's been like this for a little over a year now. Once they actually caught me staring and asked what I was looking at. I managed to play it off pretty easily though, they aren't the brightest when it comes to things like this. 

So often these days the idea of love is not really real. These days people say I love you after a week of dating. No real connection, no true love, no soulmates. It makes me sad. Because what if she is one of those people? What if she doesn't believe in true love, what if she isn't capable of really feeling something?

I know nothing about her and yet I feel like she isn't. I feel like she's just like me. 

I've caught her staring on numerous occasions. Every time I was struck with the thought: "What if?"

What if she feels the same things I do? What if she's in love? What if?

But then she'll look away, or her eyes will actually be fixated on something just behind me, or it'll become apparent she was just zoned out, not really seeing me. 

Like I said, it's been like this for just over a year. And with every passing day, my feelings for her grow, blossom like a flower. 

(but sometimes flowers die)

The locker is cold. I lean against it anyway, enjoying the fact that it makes me feel something other than lovesick. I'm alone, like most of the time these days. I stare at my phone so as to not look like a loner, holding in such a way that no one can see the blank screen. I even pretend to be typing a message to someone, pausing every now and then as if I received a reply. 

I stop this however when I feel a presence standing in front of me. I flick my eyes up to find her staring right back at me. Y/N. She looks anxious, and I want nothing more than to soothe her, ease her worries. If only I was brave enough. 

"Can I help you?"

I didn't mean for it to sound so harsh, I hope she doesn't notice how stressed I am. That's the first thing I've ever said to her. You always hear that first impressions count, well I hope I didn't just ruin this one. 

She clears her throat nervously, rocking slightly on the balls of her feet. "Yeah."

Why is she nervous? I hope I didn't sound so harsh she think's I'm going to bully her. That's the last thing I would do to her. 

I wait for her to elaborate. I tried to think of a way to politely ask what she wants help with but nothing seemed right. She seems to understand because she asks me:

"You play the bass guitar right?"

"Yeah." I reply shakily, nodding casually. 

NOTHING ABOUT THIS CONVERSATION IS CASUAL TO ME THOUGH. Internally, I am at my peak stress levels. Every move I make seems wrong, forced. I can't seem to relax. Even my breaths seem wrong. Am I sending the wrong message?

She nods slightly, looking down, a strand of her hair falling over her eyes. She inhales, then looks up at me again. My heart flutters, something that rarely happens to me. My stomach feels like I just dropped on a rollercoaster. Just by looking at me she gives me a thrill, adrenaline. Some people get addicted to drugs but this, this is something I could get addicted to. 

Her cheeks are pink. "I'm interested in learning, and I was wondering if you could teach me?"

My mind races. Teaching her would involve spending extensive amounts of time with her, alone, and showing her a part of me I don't like to show off. Those stupid school performances aren't the real me. When I play for fun, for me, I bare a part of my soul that no one has ever seen. Do I want her to see that side of me?

I decide that yes, I do. "I would be happy to..."

I trail off, staring at her, mesmerized again. The way relief washes over her face when I accept her request. 

"Y/N." She says, and I gaze at her, unsure why she just said her own name.  

She smiles, and my heart surges with love at the sight. She doesn't smile often, at least not when I'm gazing at her. It looks beautiful on her, I almost forget the reason she's here in the first place. 

I take my phone back out and actually turn it on for once, opening my contacts and typing in her name. I consider adding a heart next to it, but that would be much too forward, and she's shy, she might not react well. 

I can always add it later. 

I hand it to her and grin slightly. "Put your number in here and I'll message you the times I'm free."

A deploy. In fact I could easily have just told her the time's I'm free right now: always. I want her number and this way I can ask without having to deal with the embarrassment if she says no. 

She inputs her number, and I almost can't believe this is really happening. To me!

When she hands it back to me, cheeks flushed again, our fingers brush lightly. The butterflies come back, headstrong on making me feel sick. I smile at her. She lowers her hand and I put the phone back into my pocket without looking. My eyes are trained firmly on hers.

If only I could gaze at her forever. 

"I have a class now, Y/N, but I'll see you 'round yeah?" I say quietly and with a soft smile.

She nods, and smiles again. My heart flares with warmth. That happy happy feeling that never seems to leave when I'm around her. The butterflies. 

I start walking away, backwards, so I can keep looking at her. "And I'll text you, tonight."

"Perfect!" She calls, before walking away. 

My smile doesn't disappear, as I watch her leave. The butterflies stay for as long as I watch her, when she turns the corner they start to fade away. I most certainly will be texting her tonight. 

I bite my lip and turn properly to walk to last class, knowing I won't be able to concentrate at all.