Tell Me Why || McLennon

Chapter Five

And so begins the spam of chapters. Enjoy.

     "Get the hell out of here John." Paul said while putting his hands behind his head. He was too confused to be talking to John about their kiss right now.

     "No." John said his voice stern and steady.

     Paul's eyes widened. Why wouldn't he get out? Wasn't this awkward for John too? Two men kissing wasn't something normal Paul went around doing every other day.

     "Why?" Said Paul.

     "Because I'm not denying this anymore." John put his hand out. He was shaking and his voice cracked as if he was now nervous.

     "But isn't it better to deny it?" Paul questioned.

     "No! Of course not!" John almost shouted. "Don't you have curiosity? Why that kiss felt so damn good, when it shouldn't have felt so damn good! Why did it feel so good Paul? Why?" John was on the verge of tears more confused than ever.

     "Good?!" Paul scoffed. "You've got to be kidding me. That didn't feel good. It felt illegal and wrong."

     "So what if it is? Can't you see that the kiss changed me?! I think I might have feelings for you and you don't care about them?" John had tears rolling down his cheeks.

     "Let's just forget about it John." Paul pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He had never seen John cry before. He was usually the tough guy. This was a different occasion.

     "Forget about it?! Paul!" He pleaded. "I can't forget! I just can't!"

     "Bloody hell John, I can forget about it so you should be able to forget about it too." Paul spat back. He was hurting inside, watching John suffer. But he wasn't queer. It was wrong and illegal. He kept on telling himself over and over again. However, somewhere in the back of his mind there was a little voice was screaming at him to give John a chance. He wouldn't listen. At least not yet.

     "Why are you so damn inconsiderate?" John whispered.

     "I think it's good to be inconsiderate sometimes." Paul lifted up his hand and studied his nails, still pretending not to care.

     Suddenly he felt John smack his hand down out of his face.

     Paul gritted his teeth, now getting angry. "This kiss!" He paused. "Meant nothing John! It meant nothing to me! You were drunk and it should've meant nothing to you too! But you were stupid enough to let it get to you!"

     "You're scared!" John screamed. He had to shut the door so nobody would know what they were arguing about.

     "Oh yeah?!" Paul threw back! "Of what?!"

     "Of what might happen if we were in a damn relationship!" John flailed his arms. "If we were to get caught!"

     "I am not!" Paul lied. That's exactly why he was ignoring John. He was scared. Shit. John was right.

    "Then why the hell are you pushing me away?!" John yelled once again. "Why Paul?"

     "I.....uh...." Paul stuttered over his words, unable to make up another excuse. He had ran out.

     John's voice got soft as he moved towards Paul. Their noses touching. "I'll tell you what," he began. "If this kiss means nothing to you, if you aren't scared of a relationship, let me kiss you. Just once. And if you don't like it, if you don't feel anything for me after this. Everything will be forgotten. I won't bother you anymore, hell, I'll even leave you alone for the rest of my life if you want me to. I just need this one kiss. This one kiss that will make everything fall into place and will have everything that ever happened, make sense. What do you say? Just once? For me?"

    But before Paul could even let a single sound out of his mouth, John's lips were Amon Paul's. John let his hands run through Paul's hair as Paul stood there. Frozen. He couldn't process what was happening. He soon relaxed halfway into the kiss when he realized he was safe. Safe in John's arms. The kiss was amazing. But John wasn't right. Nothing was falling into place.

Thanks for reading. -Liz :)