Tell Me Why || McLennon

Chapter Thirty-Five

       Paul hastily began pulling out drawers, not bothering to close them. He began flipping the clothes around, looking for a warm shirt to put on to go outside. He finally found one, but threw it on the floor, suddenly not caring about traveling outside anymore.

      Tears filled his eyes, now blurring his vision. He decided to let them fall, one after another, and sighed. He plopped down on the bed, throwing his arms out. He let a cry escape his throat, and he started sobbing.

      Paul just didn't why John wouldn't let Paul help him. Paul loved John and he would never do anything to hurt him. Paul just wanted to help and he knew he could. John didn't.

      But Paul knew that John loved him. And John knew Paul loved him. So why wasn't that enough? Shouldn't that be enough for John to trust Paul. And to let Paul help him out of this trauma?

      The tears fell faster and faster and Paul still didn't wipe them off. He only closed his eyes and thought of happier times.

       Happier times with John when they were in Paris and he was drinking milkshakes. When they would go up the Eiffel Tower and John would need Paul to hold his hand.

      Paul also thought of the night they stood on the balcony. That night, as the lights from the city, illuminated the two, was the first night John said the phrase 'I love you' to Paul. And Paul had said it back.

      That night Paul felt that he was the luckiest man in the world. He was so lucky to finally have someone special that loved him. After what his father had done, the one phrase, 'I love you' meant the world to him.

      Now, it had been forever that John said 'I love you' to Paul and actually meant it. Ever since Stu had died, the phrase 'I love you' coming out of John's mouth was meaningless. And Paul would kill for that phrase to come out of John's mouth with meaning.

      Paul got out of bed and put on the shirt he had thrown on the floor. He needed to get outside and get his mind off of things. He walked over to the door and opened it. There was only one thing on his mind. John.

      Paul loved John. He just hoped John loved him.

*

       Hair. Blonde hair. John felt his fingers begin to run through that hair. That hair belonged to Cynthia.

       John kissed her. He didn't think for one second about his boyfriend, Paul. He only focused on the girl he was kissing, right in front of him.

       This all started when Cynthia had made the tea she offered. While they drank it, they got into stories of when they were dating. It made John happy. It got his mind off Paul and it focused on Cynthia. One good story lead to good memories, which lead to good kissing.

      John had to admit, this felt good. Cheating and lying. It helped get his mind off of everything that had just happened. It was almost as if his problems had washed away because of this kiss.

      Cynthia and John both pulled away, needing to breathe. However, Cynthia pulled John immediately back in, making John freeze.

     But this time, the kiss was more heated. Cynthia moaned as she began to unbutton John's shirt.

     John pulled away. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He's asked Cynthia.

   "Yes. Of course." Cynthia said, eager for more. She tried to pull John back in, but he stopped her.

    "It's only a one time though, right?"

    "Yes." She mumbled.

     John went back in and began to unbutton her blouse, not once thinking about Paul.

Thanks for reading. -Liz :)