No Idea (@carolimelda)

8. Confession of The Changes

Alex’s POV

            Something is changing. I can feel it. I don’t know what changes, but it’s there; the changes I mean. And somehow, I know, the change is something that is quite important. Maybe even more important than what I’d like it to be. It’s rather frightening to be honest, I don’t like it, and I don’t like being clueless about my own feelings. What changes is something I would really like to know.

            I hate it when she talks about her boss. About how she is lucky to get the chance to snuggle with him even if it’s just a joke, heck, I nearly snapped when I saw her in his arms. I nearly shoved him away and just grab her from him. I am constantly worried about her, more than ever. I miss her when she doesn’t visit me for more than 2 days. I feel like I want her all to myself. And these things are what I seriously need to avoid to keep the agreement we made, right…? But then again, what is wrong with me? What is changing in me?

            "Dude, are you really that clueless?" Zack laughs mockingly, looking at me sideways after I pour my heart out at the band practice today.

"What?" I stream some tune randomly.

Zack grabs his protein shake, "you really have no idea whatsoever?"

"He’s so lost" Rian joins Zack's laugh

"What?" Jack pops next to me, clearly as clueless as myself. He is really like my own twin sometimes. 

"Those two are hopeless" Zack sighs dramatically.

"Oh they'll learn" Rian smiles sympathetically at Jack and me, "good luck" he adds, sending a pat through the air.

"So...you're not going to tell me what it is are you?" I make sure, looking

with hopeful eyes, quietly begging him to just tell me.

"Nope" Zack gives Rian a look, "and you are not too."

Rian shrugs indifferently, "fine with me. It's his problem"

"Oh come on!"

            I make my way to him. I just don’t like to be in the dark. I want to know, I want to understand. Zack only smiles indifferently, holding his bass, indicating that he doesn’t want to talk about this anymore. But that is not fair; I want to talk about this. I want to keep myself in the clear. I could not possibly be falling for her, could I? I can’t even remember when is the last thing I’ve ever fallen to anybody. There’s no way I could be falling for my own best friend. It couldn’t happen. It would ruin everything; I don’t want anything to be ruined. It’s perfect this way, I’m happy with this. But something is changing and it’s bothering me.

Jack’s POV

            Alex and I had been together since we were in 7th grade. I know him, he knows me. I basically understand him in every way possible, so does him. We were together almost everywhere. Not including the bathroom, well…not really but…just leave it there, okay. I know his answers to certain things. We watch hundreds of movies together, listening to thousands of songs. We go to concerts together, freak out like teenage girls together. He’s like my own brother. I know his stories, every story he has. I know his history, I know his past, and I know when he is hurting. But there are certain things that Alex and I don’t know. And honestly, we were never really want to find out about that.

            Anyway, a couple years ago Jasey came. I like her, Alex likes her, and we become triplets. Okay, she doesn’t know him as well as I do or knows me as well as Alex does, but she’s awesome. She keeps up with Alex and me. She adds that high-pitched voice needed to ‘fangirl’. Rian and Zack can easily bond with her as well. She belongs in our little dysfunctional family. She can be a dude, she doesn’t hesitate at anything; she’d come at midnight if one of us needs her to. She learns our story without trouble, she knows which areas she could mention and which don’t. Cassadee was very excited when she joins the club too.

            Then one night, when we threw a little party and Alex and Jasey gets a little bit too wasted, they took advantages from each other. I expected things to be awkward, well there was that time, but it didn’t last long. They talk to each other again, they laughs together again, they joked again. What I hadn’t expected was for them to make an agreement out of that slip out, not that I’m not happy with that. Alex looked happy with that, and I am happy for him too. There’s nothing wrong with that, Jasey and Alex are two fully-grown people, and they have needs. They have those urges. Nothing is wrong with that. At least things are not weird, that is what important for me to know.

            Although people think I’m just the joker in the group, I’m the silly one, I’m the never serious one – well I’m all that – but I’m the observer too. I can observe freely since no one really takes me that seriously. Over the years, it become something I enjoy, then it became a hobby, then I come to be really good at that. I know people’s behavior towards certain things. I can see things. And now, I’m seeing something between Alex and Jasey.

            It’s not something bad, it’s just…worrying; I am not sure they will take this change lightly. There would be a bumpy road, heck I’m acting like a psychic now, but I am pretty sure of that. There will be something that drifts us. I’m worried. Because I think soon there will be more than just the three of us being friends.