Swallows- A Poetry Collection

Disappointed

I've never been good with words,
Feelings trapped in a cage like birds,
Always been known as one of the nerds,
And it feels like my heart's been torn into thirds.

I watch the destruction, watch it all burn,
As I reach a point that there is no return,
I know it can end it, when will I learn?
But I know that anyway it will soon be my turn.

I can't stop the anger, never can, never will,
And I hope it can fill,
The hole and stop me from being this ill,
And I can't even say that I feel any thrill.

You're asking me whether I do it out of spite?
Why I have to do it almost every night?
Why can I not ever see the light?
Well it must be the box that I'm trapped deep inside, sick of the fight.

You say I'm the enemy; you're just as bad as me,
We know we can't stop it, with all honesty,
We both know that neither of us will ever flee,
So why does the pain bring me down to my knees?

I say things that I cannot control,
And I know I will end up further down than the hole,
I know we both say things that sure take the toll,
But why is the weight on my shoulders and my wounded soul?

I know the outcome is inevitable,
I know that every choice I make is regrettable,
And I wish that you were forgettable,
We'll both burn it's not very evitable,

Many will forget me, and many will try,
Sometimes I wonder if I ever will die,
We break each other down, you're the reason I cry,
As I watch, still, as the blood runs dry,

Disappointed.