Ineffable Bureaucracy (One/twoshots)

Bet Gone Wrong (Pt. 1)

It was a well-known Fact in both Heaven and Hell that the relationship between Crowley and Aziraphel has to be more than friendly. After all, it was so obvious it basically hurt. However, a little known fact in both Heaven and Hell was that Antony J. Crowley was not the only demon to ever fall in love with an angel.

Lord Beelzebub was, as was obvious, not the most beautiful being in the universe. They certainly were not lining up to be the next Victoria's Secret Angel. And they were a demon, anyway, why did they have to care about their appearance as long as they could bring misery to the world?

Second little known fact: Beelzebub was one of the only demons to actually give a damn about their appearance. They just never did anything about it. Sure, a stray hair combing here, maybe putting on a fresh pair of fishnet socks, adjusting the large house fly atop their head, little things really.

But one of the few times the Lord of Flies and Prince of Hell actually gave two damns about their appearance was when they were going to meet the archangel Gabriel, or, as he was so fond of announcing himself, the archangel fucking Gabriel.

That was when you might find the demon at their best or at their worse.

It was on a day when they would have a meeting that Asmodeus, demon of lust, happened to walk into the demon's quarters just as they were running a comb through their hair.

"What in Heaven are you doing?" The demon of lust asked. Preferring to present female, Asmodeus was one of the most beautiful and seductive demons in all of Hell, depending on who you asked (don't ask her, she'll tell you she was the number one and then rip your head off.)

"I do not know what you are talking about." Beelzebub responded, continuing to brush their hair.

"You're... brushing your hair." Asmodeus said, approaching slowly.

"And?"

"Why are you?" The demon of lust crossed their arms and raised on perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"You brush your hair and wear enough makeup to make a preacher faint." Beelzebub commented. "As for the clothes, your's would lead him to confession."

"You are dancing around the question."

"I am simply going somewhere where I need to actually look presentable."

"A date?" Asmodeus grinned.

"No. Why do you care all of a sudden?" Beelzebub turned to her.

"Can't I simply care that my younger sibling is suddenly taking an interest in their appearance?" Asmodeus sighed. She knew how most siblings acted, at least human siblings, with the nicknames and the gadgets and the fights. She had once encouraged the demon of gluttony to call her Assie, but they had just thrown a knife at her.

"I'm going to a meeting." Beelzebub finally snapped, standing up.

"A meeting? With whom?" Asmodeus cocked her head to the side.

"None of your business. Now go annoy Levithan or whatever you call him." Beelzebub glared at her before they stormed out.

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Another well known fact in both Heaven and Hell: Archangel Gabriel did not like to be kept waiting. You had to either be burning alive in hellfire or drowning in holy water, depending on the person, to get away with keeping him waiting. One person he did not tolerate, no matter the situation, was the Prince of Hell.

Beelzebub didn't even have to ask why he was glaring at them as they entered the conference room, they already knew the reason.

"You are three minutes late, Lord Beelzebub." Gabriel didn't even look up at them. It made them almost regret brushing their hair. Only almost.