Ineffable Bureaucracy (One/twoshots)

Dont Lie to Me.

Beelzebub was sitting at their desk. The paperwork piled higher than their own height and mostly consisted of complaints about the plumbing or electricity or how the End of Times never even began. Their office was cold and dark and it was how they liked it, with the buzzing of their flies and the nearly dead light fixtures above them being the only noise.

Or it would have been the only noise if the door hadn't been thrown open and Lucifer himself stomped in in all his blazing glory, scattering papers everywhere and frightening their flies.

"Lord Beelzebub, I need to speak to you." He boomed.

"I can hear you. What izz it that you need?" They monotoned, glancing up from a paper.

"I have a question for you, about a certain angel." He sat across from them, towering over them easily.

"Did an angel attack one of our demons?" They questioned.

"No. It's about the Archangel Gabriel." He growled out, spitting the name like acid.

They silently gulped, "What about him?"

"I noticed you seemed to be together quite a bit," He mused. "And I don't think it's just for business."

"Our relationship is strictly profezzional, if your implying otherwize." They buzzed.

"Oh, I am certainly implying otherwise. Most people with a strictly professional relationship don't go to bars or parties or come home smelling like each other." Lucifer chuckled, petting their pet fly Buzzy with a clawed hand.

"I do not come home smelling like Gabriel, not do I go to parties and bars with him." They snapped. He raised an eyebrow.

"On a first name basis are we?" He chuckled darkly at their expression. "I think your relationship is a lot more than strictly professional."

"It is." They snapped loudly.

"Don't lie to me or yourself, Beelzebub!" He jumped to his feet. "I know you have feelings for that angel!"

"So what if I did?! He would never like me anyway! I'm nothing compared to him! I'm short and ugly and weak... he could never love me." Their blue eyes fell to the floor. Lucifer sighed and sat back down.

"Beelzebub. It is rare but not impossible for a demon to feel love. Most of us lost it when we Fell. Leviathan and Asmodeus used to be in love, and now all they have are fleeting glimpses of what they had hidden under a familial mask. I was in love once, if you'll believe it. I loved her." Lucifer smiled softly at a long-lost memory before snapping back to the present. "If you truly love him, you can not go on without telling him. It would be better for him to know the truth and you have a chance than you not telling him at all and never knowing."

Beelzebub seemed shocked, "Thank you, My Lord. That is sound advice."

Lucifer nodded as he stood. "Have those reports on my desk before the end of the week or I'll burn your flies." He stormed out in a whirlwind of fire, leaving Beelzebub alone.

They went back to work, diligently going through papers, and if a certain angel never left his thoughts, well.

It was their own little secret.