Ineffable Bureaucracy (One/twoshots)

Mariah Carey

"What the fuck is this."

"Language, Lord Beelzebub. And it isn't a this, it's a she. Her name is Mariah Carey, and according to the young antichrist, she is a god in her own right."

"Then get her away from me. I don't want a god anywhere near me."

"But she get's better! She makes music!"

"Music?"

"Yes! She makes heavenly music, and she is a god!"

"Then why does the boy listen to her?"

"He says she 'speaks to his gay soul', whatever that means."

"He needs a new soul."
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Based on an actual conversation I had. Don't question.