Ineffable Bureaucracy (One/twoshots)

Give It All

The ring was gold, because silver burned a demon, and was set with a big, beautiful ruby that reminded him of Beelzebub just by thinking of it. It sat heavy in a little black box in his pocket, clasped underneath a sweating, nervous palm. The two had been together for centuries now, though not near as much as his colleague and the serpent, and he was ready to eternally bind himself to Beelzebub, even though it meant giving up being an angel.

Most people would say that a union of an angel and a demon would be looked down upon, but it was so much more than that. As soon as Gabriel pulled the love of his life into his arms and kissed them under the floral wedding arch, his wings would burn away like paper and he would be damned to Hell instantly. But at least he would have Beelzebub, and, hopefully, a few children to bring some light to Hell with him.

Maybe that was why Aziraphale hadn't tied the knot with Crowley. Aziraphale loved the red head more than anything God had ever created, and had proved it time and time again by defying the laws of his being just to protect, honor, and love Crowley. Gabriel couldn't count the times he had seen Aziraphale covered in bruises, scratches, scars and burns from laying with Crowley, but every time he had seen him he had been smiling, and the few times he had ventured to ask him about it, Aziraphale had just smiled and explained that laying with someone you love was beautiful and felt so amazing he could ignore the pain of touching the demon just from seeing the happiness and euphoria he brought to Crowley.

Gabriel has learned love from the one person he never thought he would. Beelzebub was a small, short-tempered demon who often threatened to hurt him, but who rarely if ever continued with that threat. Though most considered them to be ugly, what with their choppy black hair and bad case of boils that flared up at random, he though of them as beautiful. As cliche as it may sound, he thought they fit together, almost like a puzzle; They were small, dark, and stubborn while he was large, fair, and a bit of a doormat. But he wouldn't have them any other way.

Gabriel descended to Hell with a bright smile etched across his face. It was dark and gloomy, smelled of sulphur and burning flesh, and was filled with the sounds of screaming, crying, and complaining about the pipes leaking. The air was thick and heavy like smoke, and it was hot against his skin as he walked through it. His hair curled at the heat and he felt his palms grow sweatier as his nerves rose with every step.

Demons and devils stepped aside as soon as they saw him; They all knew who he was here for. Their relationship wasn't much of a secret in Hell, what with Beelzebub bragging about it to anybody who would listen to them recount how they shoved him down and rode him like a horse, with him completely at their mercy. But aside from the sexual half of the relationship, it was also very obvious how much Gabriel cared for Beelzebub. Flowers were constantly sent down to them, even though they died quickly in the harsh conditions. New food that the humans invented was often delivered, along with long love notes that would sometimes bring a smile to Beelzebub's face.

A few demons smirked and cat called as he walked past. He had dressed up for this occasion, and wore a form fitting lavender suit. He was very proud of his body and what he had done to achieve this look, and he'll be damned before he didn't show it off on the happiest day of his life. He ignores their calls and stares and walked up the stairs to Beelzebub's quarters.

They were just as dark, gloomy, and hot as the rest of Hell, but they had a certain charm to them. The carpets were thick, maybe three inches of red plush fabric. The walls were lined with paintings and jewels, and the entire place simply screamed of pride and wealth. Their door was ornate, and had a gold plaque on the front that spelled out their title. He smiled happily as he opened the door.

The sight he was met with stopped him cold and made his blood turn to ice. His heart shattered and his limbs turned to stone as all the pieces landed in his feet. His jaw dropped silently and golden tears filled his lavender eyes, creating a sad reversed sunset.

Beelzebub was splayed out on the bed, naked as a cherub. Their pale limbs were littered with hickeys and teeth marks that were not his own, their black hair was tossed back and their neck stretched out, revealing black and blue flowers climbing the ivory column. Over them, with his red hair blazing like a fire fueled by lust, dark sunglasses tossed aside and fangs bared, was Crowley. He drove himself into the demon with an inhuman force and speed that pulled noises from the Prince of Hell that Gabriel himself had never heard. His pale hands were laced with Beelzebub's as he made love to them.

As they both climaxed, a sickeningly sweet, awful fraise flew from Beelzebub's lips and crushed into bother males' ears, startling both.

"I love you."

Golden tears finally flowed down Gabriel's face as he watched them. How long had this affair been going on behind his back? Behind Aziraphale's?

Crowley lifted his head and saw Gabriel. He froze like a deer in headlights and gulped. Gabriel didn't say a word as he threw the ring box to the ground, it cracking open and the ring being lost in the carpet as he turned and walked away from the one person he had been willing to give it all for.