Ineffable Bureaucracy (One/twoshots)

Entry #1

Date: xx-xx-xxxx

If one were to believe as the humans do, you would think me a monster. And I am. I bring gluttony and flies and fire wherever I go. And why wouldn't I? I'm a Prince of Hell, after all.

I suppose I could grace you with the knowledge of who I am. My name is Beelzebub, simple and short, and I am a Prince of Hell, though I do not classify myself as a gender such as male or female, because they just do not fit who I am. You will have to deal with it, or I shall burn you. I am not very tall or muscular or curvy, even if I have a more feminine build. My eyes are blue and hair black.

My pet fly, named Buzz-Buzz III, normally sits upon my head, but at the moment he is currently playing with Azul, his peacock friend. Why a peacock would be hidden away in my office in Hell is a secret, a secret to big even for you, my diary.

Why would a Prince of Hell even have a diary? Simply put, it was not my choice. Prince Asmodeus, my female presenting sibling, gave you to me and called me 'moody' and told me to write my inner thoughts inside of you. You are made of lavender leather and golden pages. Quite angelic, don't you think?

I don't know what thoughts she expected me to write in this diary. It seems stupid, a human thing to do. In fact, I am bored of you now, and no longer wish to allow you to be aware of my thoughts.

Good day, dear diary.

Signed,

Prince Beelzebub, Demon of Gluttony, Lord of Flies, Ruler of Hell