Sanders Sides School For The Troubled Youth

Chapter 4: Remus

Song: Jesus of suburbia by Green Day

Tw: Substance abuse(One part gets a bit disgusting/weird but like that's just how drugs are man don't do them), Remus being Remus so Sexual innuendos and gore (all of it is imagined though), self hate, Mentions of past overdose, (the text which is like this is his thoughts)

Also realized while writing this that Remus is kind of similar to Klaus Hargreeves and now I want to make a umbrella academy AU. 

An eating disorder and substance abuse really isn't that different. They're built on the same grounds. Lies, cravings and control.

You start taking pills or stop eating to control something in your life, to control yourself and then the cravings take over. The cravings for just one more pill or just one more kg and then everything will be perfect. So you lie.

You build a web of lies around yourself until you're so distanced from everyone you love the only one you think loves you is the disorder.

'It says home is where your heart is

But what a shame

Cause everyone's heart

Doesn't beat the same'

Remus loved drawing. He could sit for hours and fill pages with black and white sometimes adding red or green to make it more effectful. He never inked any of them. Actually he preferred if they smudged so much he couldn't see what it was anymore. Sometimes he would experiment with new techniques which meant him licking his art work or using blood (not necessarily his own) as a color.

Almost everything was inspired by his thoughts. It was like if he drew the ideas down it stayed on the page instead of plaguing his mind. He had an entire sketch book filled with drawings of him killing his brother. 

His thoughts didn't bother him that much anyway but it seemed to bother everyone around him. So he learnt how to silence them bit by bit so people would like him. 

When other people saw the drawings they usually called it scary but Remus disagreed. Reality was scary, you had no control over reality. He could control his drawings even when he couldn't control himself.

Right now he was sitting in art class. Their assignment was to draw a portrait of a human face. Remus was sketching out Dee's two parted face putting his whole body into it barely noticing when the pen broke. He used it as a chewing toy instead as he admired the other boys face.

He thought Dee was one of the most beautiful people he had even seen. The strange way tendrils and flesh went over the scarred right part of his face fascinated him. He could stare at him for hours(which he had) and never get tired of it. A few times when he had been in a good mood Dee had even let him lick it but mostly he just liked running his fingers over it.....fingers.

Inspiration hit him like a punch as Remus's mind started running and before he knew it he was drawing 4 chopped off fingers nailed to a chalkboard the blood still fresh. Bold strokes in coal slashing with running watercolors in red. Virgil who was sitting to the left of him ogled at the gory drawing suddenly feeling much less contempt with his own portrait of Pete Wentz.

The teacher came over gasping when she saw the bloody drawing "Prince the assignment was a portrait not horror. Can't you focus for just 5 minutes? Start over please"

"Go jack off to your own life crisis" He half yelled half whispered after her.

Dee snickered leaning over and whispering a rumor about the teacher which he may or may not have started to his classmate to which they both laughed. Meanwhile Virgil rummaged around in his bag trying to find confidence to speak.