I Think We're Doomed - Freshmen Year

Life Or Death - Estrella

Ruby wouldn't answer his phone or texts. Neither would Jupiter. Nobody would get back to me. I thought this whole time, maybe I was just sick. Maybe it's just the heat wearing me out. I never took into consideration that I could be pregnant. I never had the safest sex, but that only worried me more cause what else could be wrong? Me being so careless and clueless I never thought I could bare my own life, until now... there are three possibilities; Derek, Troy and Ruby, they all came inside me. Which is stupid of me to let happen, but who is the father? How do I keep this a secret if it is real?

I climb into my bed and curl up under my sheets, crying to myself in my darkening room. Seeing the sun go down under my blanket as it got darker and darker around me. I closed my eyes and sighed softly, trying to hold back the tears that couldn't help but come out. Maybe I'm overreacting? No way I could get pregnant that quick and feel symptoms already. Maybe I should just take a test and stop being a wuss? But I'm only fourteen and if I am pregnant.. mom isn't going to like it very much. Or maybe I won't get so big, so it'll be easy to hide and I'll just give the baby up for adoption? Adoption.. abortion, I can get an abortion. I'm sure Ruby will pay for it and.. how am I going to tell him this though? He's never going to believe me. How do you tell a guy that barely wants to touch you that you're pregnant?

The tears pour out harder from my eyes and I jump lightly at the knock at my door "Estrella? It's Jupiter, I lost my charger to my phone but Jordan told me everything" Jupiter walked in slowly and I took my head up from under the blanket.

Jupiter smiled at me and had a plastic shopping bag in her hand "What's that?" I asked, turning my table lamp on.

She passed me the bag and chewed her lip "It's for you, I think we should get this over with"

I open the bag and see and bright pink box with a "pregnancy test" on the side. I took the box out and stared at it. two lines mean pregnant, one means I'm not.

I swallowed hard and looked at Jupiter "I can't do this" the tears roll down harder across my cheeks.

Jupiter runs over and wraps her arms around me "it'll be okay, if you are or aren't I'll still be there for you" she kissed my head gently and sat down on the bed beside me.

We both looked at each other for a moment then I got up, walking slowly to the bathroom with my pink box. I pull my things down and sit on the toilet, breaking the box open and pulling out one of the two pregnancy tests. I slip the pregnancy test between my legs and begin to pee on it. Jupiter walked over to the opened bathroom door and watched me, as I sat nervously peeing on the stick. Once I was done I set it down on the counter and wiped myself, pulling my leggings up and flushing the toilet. Jupiter stared at the stick hard then back up at me. I read the stick as it changed from one line then to two slowly. We both stood quietly in the bathroom and stared down at the pregnancy test.

I grab the test and slam on down into the trash "this is wrong! I'm not pregnant, I'm fine. It's just a faulty test and I'm good"

Jupiter shakes her head at me "are you crazy? Take the second one then"

I slap the box with the last pregnancy test in it onto the floor and stomp on it "don't tell anyone, okay? I don't even want to keep the thing.."

I walk out the bathroom quickly and climb into my bed, burying myself under the blanket "and you can leave now too... I don't need any more pity" I add, my voice kind of muffled under the blanket.

Jupiter walks over and sits at the edge of the bed "whatever you decide to do I'll support it.. we're best friends"

I sit up and look at Jupiter, sniffling as my hair covers my face "I wish I was like you, Jupiter. All sweet and a Virgin. Guys like you more than me, in case you didn't know. I think it's the innocent act you got going on" I look away from Jupiter and sigh

She blushed lightly and shrugged "well I've always wanted to be like you, Estrella. You definitely have all the guys attention, I've always been kind of jealous of that"

I shake my head and laugh in disbelief "it's easy to be like me, it's hard to be like you. Be proud of who you are cause what you have you can't get back.."

We both stare at each other than smile, holding our heads down until Jupiter decided to speak up again "I think... I want to lose it to Jordan"

I giggle softly and scoff "Really? Jordan... I mean you guys are pretty much in a relationship already"

She nodded and blushed, biting her lip in excitement "I haven't really thought about when, but when we kiss it's hard not to... ya know. I don't know... he's like the first guy I've ever felt this way about. I'm kind of scared" Jupiter smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear.

I nod and shrug "well whatever you feel makes you happy, do it. Just be careful.. guys aren't shit and I don't want you to get your feelings hurt"

Jupiter smiles and plays with her hoodie strings "I don't know.. I think he's different. I mean we're different, it feels right" she looks at me with a wide smile so contagious I smile back. We both sit together for hours, talking about pregnancy, labor, babies, boys tomorrow's party until we passed out in bed together like the good times.