Ghost Bird The Academy: Jameson Addition.

Meeting the Good Doctor

James woke up with a pounding in her head. Her lips felt dry, cracked. She would need Chapstick. Her body felt heavy like each arm and leg were chained down with weights and no matter how hard she tried or how much she wanted to she couldn't get up. 

Like she was stuck, frozen in time because at this moment her thoughts seemed so loud and she wanted to run from them but she couldn't because she was stuck. 

She eyed the bathroom but had no motivation to get up to use it. Thoughts from last night came into mind and she cringed. Blanket coming over her head so she couldn't see. 

James weighed down the options in her head she had been here before. Panic attacks were nothing new for her she had been getting them since she was young. What was new for her was having someone calm her down. Gabe, she felt a tear slide down her face. 

Normally after having an attack James would lay in bed all day or read. This would give her mind and body time to rest and as much as it made her feel selfish, she knew that she had too. 

James sighed; she knew that there was no reason to be freaking out yesterday but that doesn't matter. It could have been anything to set her off That's the thing about Panic attacks and anxiety, you don't get to choose the moments when you have an episode or when you're feeling stressed those moments choose you. It doesn't matter if your happy and have everything, you can still feel as though the world is closing in on you. Like someone is squeezing your throat so you can't breathe, you get the sudden urge to run move getaway but you don't have the power to do so. You can be fine one second, and then in the next your feeling like you're going to die and there's nothing you can do. Your mind starts to eat at you, and that was the worst thing for James. Because she knew, she knew that nobody could ever hate her as much as she hates herself. 

James forced herself to sit up her body felt sore, her eyes watered. She blinked away the tears, God what's wrong with her. 

She pressed her hands into her thigh itching at the old wounds she made long ago. 

Her feet were now planted on the ground she sat there, eyes moving from where the bed was located to the bathroom. She stood slowly, taking a deep breath. 

Yesterday had been a more serve attack it felt longer, but attacks always feel as though they last forever. She cursed herself, her body hadn't been sore from just the attack. She had been working long hours and it was taking a toll on her body. She also hadn't been getting any sleep her mind fighting with her to stay awake. It was taxing. Too much. She should have forced herself to get rest sooner but she couldn't find the motivation. 

She finally made it to the bathroom leaning against the door, she knew as soon as she walked in, she would see her reflection in the mirror. She couldn't help but want to postpone the moment. 

Instead, she took in the bathroom the tile, the colors. She realized that she was back at Kota's house. The boys. 

She wouldn't think about that right now instead she would focus; James turned her head away from the vanity instead she plopped down onto the toilet. Doing her business than standing to wash her hands. 

James's eyes made contact with broken blue eyes into the mirror. There were bags under them, dark and purple looking like bruises dried tears coked her skin. Her cheeks were splotchy red patches covering them, she licked her lips. Rubbing at her eyes harshly. Her hair was still in the braid but it was frizzier now, messy. 

It was then she noticed she had more clothes on, she frowned. After leaving the boys and Sang James had changed into a long-sleeve black shirt with a red short sleeve button up over it. She also had on a pair of black plain jeans that were still baggy but slightly tighter than the other jeans she owned.