Unanchored: Inspired by Demi Lovato (book 1 of the unanchored series)

21.⚓️

You know when you're younger, you do the most dumbest shit ever. You burn yourself by playing with fire when your mom tells you not to touch the flame on the stove, you get your head stuck through the bars on the staircase, and then the list of doing dumb shit goes on.

When I was about four years old, I got a bead stuck inside my nose. My mom wasn't home at the time, she was at work. My dad had to put a needle inside of my nose, in order for it to slide out. When it did come out, he yelled at me but then he hugged me and kissed me. He made me feel better. My dad made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world and I thought that I had the best dad in the world, that no one else's dad could compare. In that moment, I felt loved, I felt grateful that I had a dad who cared about me, despite the fact that he yelled at me. He still made me feel loved, like dads are supposed to do, make their kids feel loved, nurture them, take care of them, and even lie to them because sometimes, some doors aren't meant to be open.

When my family asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I told them that I wanted to find my birth parents. They didn't say anything, I assumed that they didn't hear me but I knew they did. So, I raised my voice, loud enough for them to hear me. At first, they started to yell and asked me questions like, "Why would I want to do that?" and "You don't love us anymore?" Of course, I still love them. I will always love them, they're my family, even though I am adopted. They are still my family and nothing is going to change that, but at the same time, I really, desperately want to know who my birth parents are. I deserve that. The truth is, I'm actually scared to look for my birth parents. I keep thinking of the worst things happening, if I do end up meeting him because I'm a pessimist and I'm unanchored.

"Jade, can you tell me why you're here today?" Judy asked, giving me a small smile. Yeah, my family's afraid that I might ditch them for my real parents, as if they're just gonna welcome me with open arms and forbid me from seeing my family again.

"Yes. My family asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told them...that I wanted to find my birth parents. But, they didn't think that that would be a good idea."

"And why is that?" I shrugged. "I don't know. I...guess, they're afraid that my biological parents might take me away from them and I'll never see them again."

Judy looked from me to Aunt Becky, Opa, and Oma. Uncle Manny was running a little late, which never happens. He's always here early. "Is there any reason why you guys would feel that way?" she asked.

Aunt Becky chimed in. "We don't feel that way at all. If anything, Jade does deserve the right to know who her real parents are but, we don't want her to get hurt."

"I'm not going to get hurt."

"How do you know that?" Opa asked. "Because nothing can ever hurt me harder than the day I found out that I was adopted. Nothing will ever hurt more than that. The fact that my whole sixteen years has been a whole lie. I feel like I'm in a Lifetime movie."

No one said anything, instead, we just left the room to fill up with silence until a door opened. In came Uncle Manny with a sleepy Archie in his arms. "Hey, guys. Sorry, I'm late. I just came back from the doctor's." Oma opens her arms for Uncle Manny to put Archie in her arms while he takes off his coat. Uncle Manny hands Archie to Oma, takes off his jacket, and sits down. "What are we talking about?" He asked.

"Manny, it was nice of you to join us. I'm sure Jade is happy that you are here." No, actually, I wasn't happy to see him because he's the one that keeps telling me that finding my parents is a bad idea. Like, who are you to tell me if I should or should not meet my real parents. "We are discussing Jade wanting to meet her real parents, but from what I heard, none of you agree on this."