Unanchored: Inspired by Demi Lovato (book 1 of the unanchored series)

44.⚓️

"Give me a call, if you change your mind about finding your mother." The officer said, offering her business card to me as she gets into her car. While she's starting her car in the parking lot, I hear Demi yell my name.

I rapidly shoved the card in the pocket of my denim jacket. I turned around and smiled, "Demi, hey!" I said. "You walking out on me?!" She joked, holding the door while her head was peeking out from behind. "Um...I needed to get some fresh air. I just felt a little queasy, but I'm fine now!" I hollered.

"Oh, okay. Well, when you're ready to come back inside, I'll be waiting for you!" She replied. "Okay!" I responded. Demi smiled before she went back inside. "I'm fine, " I whispered to myself as I wiped a fallen tear away from my cheek.

When Demi and I left the rink, we stopped by the store to get some food for tonight's dinner. "Do you want anything while I'm in here?" Demi asked with one foot out of the car and the other inside. I shook my head, saying, "No, I'm fine."

Demi noticed that I wasn't as happy as I was since we left the rink. "Are you really fine?" She interrogated, making me turn my head. "What?" I said. "I said, 'are you—" Demi repeated herself before I interrupted her in the middle of her sentence. "I heard what you said, Demi." I snapped angrily. "You know I'm not okay. Fuck, my parents are dead. My sister doesn't love me anymore because she thought I was dead. I'm a fuck up." I cried, wiping my tears away from my face.

As I was sniffing up snot that was dripping down my nose, I heard the car door shut and Demi's hand placed over mine ever so delicately. Her hands were soft to a touch like cotton. "You're not a fuckup, J." She said, comforting me. "Yes...yes, I am." I cried. "I am. Everywhere I go, I fuck up. Everything and everyone, I touched." I said.

"Baby, look at me." Demi said, caressing my chin with her thumb. I looked at her with tears laced over my eyes as I bit my lip. "None of this is your fault. Nothing that has happened to you is your fault. You have to know that. You didn't do anything wrong. You've got to stop blaming yourself." That's the problem, Demi. I don't think I ever will because I'm unanchored. People like me will never stop blaming themselves.

Later that night, I went to bed early because I couldn't stop thinking about Detective Bennett showing up and telling me that my mom had been looking for me for over four years. What she also said to me was that when my mom first found out that I was alive and well in LA, she was hesitant and unsure that she wanted to meet me. Bennett never told me why. Maybe, when she found out about my history of drug abuse and my consistent trips to the hospital, she must have been having second thoughts. Suddenly, I'm having second thoughts about meeting her tomorrow.

I was about to fall asleep when I felt a pillow hit my head. I rapidly lifted my head up from my pillow and I glared at Emma, who was standing in the middle of her bedroom with her arms crossed. "Ow, what the fuck is your problem?" I asked. "How come you left me alone downstairs during dinner?" She questioned.

"So, what. You've never been alone with your parents before?" I asked. Emma uncrosses her arms and sat down on her bed. "That's not the point. My mom and my dad basically cornered me because they found out from Sydney's mom that I quit soccer." She admitted. "Who the hell is Sydney?" I asked. "The girl who looks like a Rachel and who's mom name is Karen." Emma explained, pulling her socks off of her feet and tossing on her nightstand.

"Always the lady, " I mumbled. "I heard that. Anyways, it was a fucking disaster." She said.

While Emma was grilling me on skipping out on dinner, a knock made us turn our heads. It was Demi in a bathrobe. She had no makeup on and her hair was tied up in a messy bun. She walked into the room and said, "Lights out, girls. We have a big day tomorrow."

"Where are we going, mom?" Emma asked. "Well, all of us, including your father, are going parasailing." Demi informed, walking over to Emma's bed.

"In the middle of winter?" I asked. "I'm not sure I want to freeze my ass off in the middle of the freezing water." I said.

"Yeah. I mean, do we have to do that? Why can't we just catch a movie or something?" Emma suggested. "It's not like we're going to Canada. Besides, it's going to be 65 degrees tomorrow. That's not even anywhere close to freezing. And you, Emilia Lovato, you are in no place to make decisions because the last time I checked, you decided that you wanted to ditch soccer and do swimming." Demi said, scowling at her daughter.

Moments like this reminded me of the times my mom and I would get into an argument. Sometimes, she would win and other times, I would win. Either way, we always made up in the end. Emma and Demi's conflict didn't seem like it was going to last very long as they are really close.

I just wish me and my mom could have been that close.

Now that I have a chance to meet my real mom, I can't because Demi and Nick have other plans for me and Emma. This is just great. What do I do now? I can't just cancel on Amy because I've already made plans to meet her. I'll have to tell her the bad news...or I could improvise.