Gintama Reacts to Ships

Kagura x Gintoki

Kagura and Gintoki: *stare at each other with the most utterly disgusted look on their faces*

Kagura: Gross.

Gintoki: Ew.

Tae: *hugs Kagura close* Oi. Gin-san. She's underage. 

Gintoki: Ew. Like anyone would want to be with Kagura-chan.

Kagura: No woman would ever want to marry a lazy idiot like Gin-chan!

Gintoki: Hey, what did you say about me, you washboard!?

Kagura: Huh? I was just about to ask you that, mop-head!

Takasugi: Mop-head... 

Gintoki: Oi!!!

Hijikata: *elbows Sougo* Jealous? 

Sougo: Hijikata-san, you really want to die, don't you?

Kondou: C'mon everyone... Heheh! Let's stop fighting...

Everyone: NO!

Sa-chan: *starts hugging Gintoki* Gin-chan! You won't chose that flat-chested little girl over me, right? 

Gintoki: Ugh... *looks at everyone* Help me...

Hijikata: Huh? Sougo, do you know him?

Sougo: Nope, not at all.

Sakamoto: Ahahahahahahahahaha! Kintoki!

Shinpachi: *Looks away*

Kyubei: Otae-chan, let's go.

Tae: Uh.. Kyubei and I are going to the uh... -Insert random place- Now!!

Gintoki: Huh? What the heck is -Insert random place- ?! The author was just lazy, right? Right Author?! You were just lazy right?! RIGHT?!! *mutters to self* Or am I just stupid? Is -Insert random place- an actual place? Wait, or is it just called -Insert Random-? Argh! I dunno but now I'm so confused. Why am I alive? Are the numbers in pi really endless? Should I walk with my hands in my pockets, or by my side? Am I dead? Am I alive? Is the reader still reading me go on tangents? Shut up, Hijikata!

Hijikata: WTF

Sougo: Hijikata-san, he's done for. If thinking about underage girls turns him on this much, imagine him when he finally -

Kondou: Sougo! 

Hijikata: Sougo, I bet thinking about a certain Yato with red hair, blue eyes, and two buns turns you on.

Sougo: Hijikata-san, I bet YOU WANT TO DIE, HUH?!!!! *pulls out katana* DIE!!!!!

Hijikata: ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!

Matako: Oi! Watch where you're swinging, you Shinsengumi bastard! You almost hit Shinsuke-sama! Are you alright, Shinsuke-sama?! Don't worry, I'll always protect you!

Takasugi: *is still snickering* Heheh... Mop-head... Heheh...

Gintoki: You're still thinking about that?!

Matako: Y-you... You made Shinsuke-sama happy?

Gintoki: Huh? No he just like, uh, hates me-

Matako: Thank you so much, Mop-head!

Kagura: Wow! He sure is popular! Uh huh! Good job, Mop-head!

Katsura: I'm glad to see Mop-head warming up with the Kihetai!

Tsukuyo: How nice, Mop-head.

Sakamoto: You really are something, huh, MOP-HEAD?

Gintoki: Oi! There was totally an emphasis on Mop-head! Quit it with the Mop-head!

Hijikata: Mop-head!

Sougo: Mop-head!

Gintoki: Not Hijikata! Even Soichiro!

Sougo: It's Sougo.

Sa-chan: That blonde bastard... China-girl... Tsukuyo.... Argh!!!!! I must do something! *Walks up to everyone* Hey. Hate on this ship if you value your life.

Yamazaki: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! This woman's crazy! Chief! Vice-Chief! Help!!! *looks at Sa-chan* By the way, I hate this ship!

Hijikata: Uh... I hate this ship! *stares at Kondou for help*

Kondou: This ship is trash! *looks at Sougo*

Sougo: *in a sarcastic tone* EW. I absolutely despise this ship.  

Tsukuyo: Hey. That's a strange tone you're using. I think this ship is garbage, by the way.

Shinpachi: Even you?!! 

Sa-chan: *stares sadistically at Shinpachi*

Shinpachi: O-of course, I meant to say that this ship is bad! Frick! 

Sa-chan: *heheheh* That's what I like to hear....

Kagura: Sa-chan! You can have that lazy Mop-head if you want! 

Gintoki: WTF Kagura!!!!!  Huh? No I-

Sa-chan: Really? *hugs Gintoki* Gin-chan! I'll always be here for you!

Gintoki: KAGURA-CHAN!!!!!! I'LL BUY YOU PICKLED SEAWEED FOR THE NEXT WEEK! 

Kagura: Let's go somewhere else, everyone. C'mon Shinpachi!

Shinpachi: Um... Okay.

Mutsu: What about Gintoki?

Sakamoto:  It's okay, he'll be fine. Isn't that right, Kintoki? Ahahahahahahahahaha!

Gintoki: Tatsuma!!!!!!

Takasugi: See you, Mop-head. 

Bansai: Bye.

Matako: Hey, Lolicon! Come on! We're leaving!

Takechi: I'm not a Lolicon. I am merely a feminist with a healthy attraction towards children.

Hijikata: That's just a Lolicon isn't it?

Sougo: Yeah, yeah! That's just a Lolicon.

Kondou: Guys, let's follow Kagura-san.

Yamazaki: Wait for me!

Tsukuyo: Sarutobi, you're not going to leave?

Sa-chan: No I'll stay with my dear Gin-chan!

Gintoki: Uh, it's okay! Leave! You can leave!

Sa-chan: Don't worry! I'll always protect you, Gin-chan!

Gintoki: *tries running away*

Sa-chan: *pulls out kunai* Huh? Where might you be going?

Gintoki: *starts sweating* N-no where! No where at all!

Sa-chan: Good.

Gintoki: Help me, Author! O-onto the next ship....