A/n - song of the chapter, angel with a shotgun by the cab
491
If you ran as much as your mouth did, you'd be in awesome shape.
492
I hate it when people are at your house and ask:
"Hey do you have a bathroom"
And i'm just like...
"No, not at all. We all just shit in the yard."
493
'We are drowning in information, but starved for knowledge'
494
People - put a lot of money and planning into a vacation
Dogs - are on vacation every time they go out the door
495
Don't let someone else write your life story. You will never experience life if someone else is writing your experiences with their own pen.
496
So if guns kill people, i guess pencils miss spell words, cars drive drunk, and spoons make people fat.
497
Going to McDonald's for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
498
"It's not illegal, just frowned upon... Like masterbating on an aeroplane."
499
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone?
That's common sense leaving your body.
500
Ever had that feeling where you just want to jump out of bed?
Me neither
A/n - i've reached half way! Wooooooho! Who want's to party!
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