Noyade | Rabastan Lestrange [2] ✔︎

30 | GONE

"You can't stay in bed all day, mate," Regulus persisted, nudging Rabastan's shoulder.

The slightly older boy, however, simply rolled onto the other side, not even opening his eyes. He had opened them to narrow slits a few seconds earlier, but shut them again almost instantly. His whole body felt like somebody had beaten it to pulp and therefore he didn't feel like moving a single limb - aside from turning to his other side, of course.

He grumbled, "You know very well that I can."

He had experienced these kind of days before. Not only was it the sluggishness in his muscles that prevented him from getting up, but the listlessness to face anything or anyone that day. There was no way he could take in anything else, positive or negative alike.

Just about to bury his face in his pillow, he groaned as Regulus turned him onto his back. He opened one of his eyes ever so slightly and was met with the brunette boy's unamused stare. "You're behaving like you're five."

"Who says I'm not?" Rabastan countered, knowing very well that it wouldn't help to convince his friend.

Maybe that was another reason why he didn't want Regulus to be tied with him. If there was one thing that made the boy a Slytherin, it was definitely the way he looked after and cared for his friends. Brotherhood, was an attribute of the Slytherin house the other students tended to forget, but it was one of them and for Regulus, probably the most important one. Someone as brotherly as him deserved to have people give the same thing back to him. But on days like these Rabastan felt like there was this hollowness inside of him, like there was not a single feeling inside of his heart. Over and over he had tried to explain it. To Jack, Regulus and even to Phoenix, but there was nobody who truly understood what was going on in his heart. How should they? He didn't even really understand what was going on with him either. Nonetheless, he was tired of giving an effort to figure it out.

He just wished to turn all the noises and images off.

"I don't feel like school today. Just tell the teachers I'm sick."

"For Salazar's sake, you told me to do that more than ten times in the last two months. Rabastan, this has to stop. What's going on with you?" Regulus threw his hands into the air, obviously searching for what to say.

However, Rabastan beat him to it and said, "There's nothing bloody wrong with me. I don't need to be fixed. Just leave me alone already."

Of course he was lying. There definitely was something wrong with him. It could impossibly be normal to only feel pain next to emptiness. He was fucked up – and he knew it.

"No need to get aggressive." Regulus gestured at him like he wanted to shield himself with his hands, shaking his head. "Look, I want to help you, but I'm tired of you pushing me away. I can't keep trying to break through to you. I've tried that for weeks now, but you won't let me. You can come to me as soon as you feel like I'm worth being your friend again."

With that he turned on his heel, starting towards the door of the dormitory, just as Dacre Yaxley entered. The dark-skinned boy with short dark hair looked after Regulus before settling his gaze on Rabastan and sneering, "I think you just scared your only friend away. Good job, lad."

The blonde boy narrowed his eyes at him, though knowing that he was right. "Whatever prompted you to talk to me, don't do it again."

"I'll take my chances." Yaxley grinned a cruel grin, however, and threw a piece of parchment onto Rabastan's bed. "You might want to know that your other buddy disappeared from the Hospital Wing and left this for you. I guess you simply aren't worth sticking around for."

At least they agreed on one thing.

★

"So they'd tie them up and throw them into lakes and rivers, and if they survived by floating or swimming they were convicted of using witchcraft, so they were burned on the stake? That doesn't make sense at all. There's no way to prove one's innocence and survive," Maureen said, horrified by what they had to revise for their History of Magic exams in May.

Phoenix was only half listening to her, the conversation she had led with Rabastan the day before running through her head over and over again. They had both been swept away with emotions after Jack had collapsed and probably said more than they would usually have said, but what if they had been more honest than ever before?

Turning a page of her book over to look at a picture about the topic, Phoenix nodded while Regulus, who had laid his head on top of his notes replied, "Yes, Muggles in the Middle Ages were crazy and maybe they still are."

He sounded particularly annoyed that morning and had barely even muttered 'Good Morning' when letting himself fall into the chair behind his desk in Divination earlier.

"Why would you say that?" Maureen asked, relieving Phoenix of the urge to ask the same question.

"They tortured their own until they were too broken to defend themselves against any accusations and were executed because they had looked at somebody the wrong way. Is it even a question how that's crazy?" he explained, his voice muffled by his own arm.

Phoenix shook her head. "No, that's obvious, but she meant why do you think they're still crazy?"

"Thank you!" Maureen gestured wildly towards her brunette best friend.

Regulus leaned back in his chair, eyeing them both incredulously. "Only about forty years ago they were battling each other for no particular reason. Father told me how horrible those days were. Whole cities were destroyed and so many people were killed for nothing. And still they haven't learned anything out of it. I mean there's still this feud between east and west, which could turn into another war. They're insane and a danger to us all."

Phoenix and Maureen looked at each other for a second before Phoenix nodded. "Honestly, I've never thought about it like that, but you're actually right."

"Finally." Regulus sounded exasperated. "Are you telling me father never told you about his childhood?"

"Well, he did, but I never really connected it to his hatred for Muggles. Now it makes total sense," Phoenix told him and for the first time she actually meant it.

Maureen watched the two of them warily. "Now that everybody hates Muggles equally, can somebody please help me remember the different kinds of torture?"

"I wouldn't yet say equally, but we'll still help you," Phoenix agreed, pointing at the picture. "So this is-"

She jumped at a bang behind her, ringing through the complete library. There were murmurs and everyone turned their heads towards the door, through which Rabastan strode in that very instant. Phoenix' eyes widened at the sight of him. He was pale and shock was written all over his face, which for once showed his emotions to everybody like an open book. Something had obviously happened.

"Go mind your own bloody business," he yelled at the people staring at him.

Apparently he seemed intimidating enough because their peers turned around, but still started to whisper among themselves. When Rabastan reached their table he threw a folded piece of parchment onto Phoenix' opened book. She looked up at him in confusion.

"Read it," he ordered, playing with his hands.

Phoenix' eyes roamed over the words that were definitely written in Jack's handwriting and widened with every new paragraph, before she looked at Rabastan again. "Merlin, we have to find him before he gets hurt."