Noyade | Rabastan Lestrange [2] ✔︎

62 | EPILOGUE

20/01/1979

My love,

If you're reading this, something has gone terribly wrong. I know I've promised you that I'd stop before I could get hurt and believe me I had every intention of doing so. I'm sorry I was unable to keep that promise.

Whatever happened, I want you to know that it wasn't your fault. Right now you will think "how can she tell if she wrote this before it actually happened" but I do. I know that you'd never hurt me. Whatever happened, it is on me and I'm sorry.

To be honest, I planned on spending the rest of my life by your side. Before our sixth year, I simply saw you as my brother's arrogant best friend but you're so much more, I hope you know that. Girls at school may have liked you for your looks but while I did too, there's so much more I value about you. For example, you have that way with words I've never seen before. While I'm just rambling, you make saying things in a pretty way so easy and if you speak everyone stops to listen. And then there's your passion for books. I love just sitting next to you and reading all day, but what's even better is watching you draw. Have you ever noticed how you stick out your tongue in the corner of your mouth when you concentrate?

What I'm meaning to say is that to me you're perfect. Don't you ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You've got a beautiful soul and no matter how low you might feel right now I want you to fight through this. Because you're loved and you deserve to live, more than most of the other people I know. It wasn't me that made you a better person, you're the hero in this story.

I want you to keep living a happy life, knowing that I'm up there among those stars, loving you and watching over you whatever you do. I'll always be proud of you and I want you to be happy and find love again.

Can you do that for me?

I'll always love you,

Nix

Tears were rolling down Rabastan's cheeks. It had been over three months since the love of his life had passed away and until now he had been unable to read the letter his house-elf Winnie had handed him - and every one of her friends and family - a week after it had happened. It had required all of his strength and now he was sitting in the wet snow staring out at the sea, gripping it tightly in his left hand.

Should this help her grief in any way?

He almost jumped when he heard footsteps behind him. Quickly, he turned his head and when he caught sight of pink hair, he turned back around. "Did you know that this was the place she once told me she wanted to see before she died?"

Brushing his tears away, Rabastan let his eyes wander over the cliffs. He remembered how he had brought Phoenix to this place blindfolded and how she had looked so happy on the photos he had taken with the Muggle camera he had got her. How much he would give to draw her one last time in front of this scenery and just tell her how much he loved her, hear her laugh.

"Yeah, I know," Maureen told him, sitting down next to him. "You made her so happy the day you took her here."

Rabastan looked down at his feet and confessed, "You know, she asks me to keep fighting. Yet she was always the best part of me. But now she's gone and I have no idea how I'm supposed to go on if there's nothing but darkness without her in my life? I can't do it, Maureen. I can't be good without her."

Instead of an answer, Maureen pulled him into her arms and once again he allowed himself to cry.

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