Noyade | Rabastan Lestrange [2] ✔︎

58 | WEAKNESS

For almost an entire month Phoenix barely left the house. From Rabastan's bedroom window she watched as Summer slowly turned into autumn. The leaves changed from green to red and orange and slowly circled down from the branches of the trees in the garden. It was obvious that her friends and family had no idea how to go about her actions but Regulus had eventually taken to telling everybody that the sight of death had been too harsh on his sister's delicate being. Once Phoenix would have glared at him for making her sound so weak but was he wrong?

She was more shaken up by Marlene's death than she wanted to be. One moment had made her question everything that she believed in and she felt horrible about everything she represented. Whenever she was alone her thoughts spread out towards the most horrific possibilities of what people might think and what might happen to her loved ones. Her heart was too heavy and more and more often she allowed herself to cry. If anyone had stumbled upon her that way she wouldn't have been able to explain what was wrong but she knew that she wasn't alright. Whatever she did in this war, she was hurting some of the people she loved.

So in a fit of crying, she wrote a letter to one of the wisest men she knew. Albus Dumbledore. Although he had made her fume with anger countless times over the past few years, she knew that if anyone could help her it was him.

The only thing she hadn't accounted for was that his answer and what followed would only make her overthink everything even more. Still, knowing that there was an option to save everybody she loved slowly made her return to herself.

And finally, she was able to get up again.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Rabastan asked, gently placing a hand on the small of her back as they entered Malfoy manor.

The gesture made her stop and turn toward him with her head slightly tilted. He pushed a curl of her hair behind her ear and continued, "It scared me to see you the way you were after... after the incident. I saw you slipping away from me. Slowly and without me being able to do anything against it. Please, promise me you'll only to this if you won't fall into that hole again. Don't do anything rash."

"Promise," Phoenix breathed and reached up to pull him into a short kiss. She leaned her forehead against his. "And you'll always keep fighting. Promise?"

Without her saying it plainly, they both knew what she was hinting at. His darkness, his depression. Phoenix felt a lump build up in her throat. For weeks she had been carrying Dumbledore's response around with her, not telling anybody about their shared plan. It was risky and through her shared bond with Rabastan she knew that he was depending as much on her as she did on him. What if she suddenly wasn't there to steady him when he felt like there was nothing left to fight for?

Rabastan searched her eyes with his. He had to sense that something wasn't quite right but he decided to nod. "Promise."

Not wanting to give him a chance to question her, Phoenix interlaced her fingers with his and pulled him towards the manor. Most people of the elected party were already there and the couple made their way towards Regulus, who was talking to a handsome young man Phoenix knew to be Timothée Rosier, a wizard from France, with whom her brother had spent quite a lot of time over the past few weeks. The young, blonde man caught sight of them first and waved, which made Regulus turn around. His eyes widened and he strode over towards them.

"What is she doing here? I thought we agreed that she wouldn't participate in this," Regulus said through gritted teeth, looking at his best friend.

Rabastan was about to answer when Phoenix replied in his stead, "She is old enough to decide for herself."

"Do you even know what this is about?" Regulus wanted to know and Phoenix nodded.

"Yes, mother told me all about it when she visited me two weeks ago."

Regulus didn't seem convinced but visibly relaxed when Timothée placed his hand on his shoulder and said, "Look, I'm sure listening what all of these people will have to say won't hurt. Anything else will be decided later."

He had a thick French accent but somehow this only made him more likeable. Phoenix smiled at him and then beamed at her brother. "See?"

Eventually, they convinced Regulus to let her stay, if only for her reputation since she hadn't been seen in public in over a month. However, it turned out that going through with what she had decided on was more difficult than she had imagined. As the Death Eaters with more influence started to present their next mission, Phoenix found herself scanning the room. There were so many young people she had known from the very start of her life. Most of them she had gone to school with and a lot of them she even considered distant friends.

If everything went according to plan they would soon sit behind bars in Azkaban.

She gripped Rabastan's hand tightly throughout the whole meeting. It was the only thing that kept her head level, the thought that at least the ones she loved deeply would be saved – even Timothée because he seemed to mean a lot to her brother.

Everything built up to the moment where all heads turned towards her when one of the men asked if she would be able to support their plans with her powers. Although Rabastan had celestial powers as well, people usually turned to her as the more powerful one. Maybe she was. Rabastan's abilities were limited to resistance to certain spells, strength and higher perception but nothing he could contribute willingly to a plan.

In an instant, Regulus had got to his feet and shook his head. "She's still not fully recovered yet. She'll sit this one out."

Phoenix heard mumbles go through the room. Weakness was frowned upon in these circles. If everyone knew about Rabastan's struggles with his mental health they would surely not even tolerate him in this room. He would be marked his whole life as a weakling, which was why they had done everything to keep it under wraps. She was probably the only one who didn't have to fear that fate anymore. Her powers made her special.

Nonetheless, she got up and took in a deep breath. This was the moment they had been waiting for. "I can conceal us all so they won't even see an attack coming."