Noyade | Rabastan Lestrange [2] ✔︎

42 | ANXIETY

It took the healers and teachers another ten minutes to arrive. By then Phoenix had almost lost hope. Rabastan's breathing had slowed alarmingly and she hadn't managed to get him to open up his eyes again. Trembling she had stepped back and allowed the healers to do their job. They had worked quickly, communicating via looks and gestures. Everybody had known what to do, much unlike she did in the minutes prior.

Even when she sat on a chair in one of the corridors of St. Mungo's she would stretch out her hands above her lap and see them tremble. Her thoughts kept going back to what had happened, but she couldn't wrap her head around it. It felt like all of it had happened to somebody else. To her neighbour or classmate maybe, but not to her.

She had barely noticed how Rabastan's family had arrived. Even Rodolphus had shown up, however, without Bellatrix by his side. He had passed the spot where she was anxiously waiting for any sign of whether Rabastan would make it like a storm of grey, striding towards his parents who were talking quietly.

When the doors to the healers' room finally opened, Phoenix' head snapped up and she felt her brother tense next to her. Both of them watched as one of the healers stepped towards the Lestranges.

"How is he? Is he going to make it?" Rodolphus asked, fear lacing his voice.

The healer's answer was too quiet for siblings to hear, but Phoenix knew it couldn't be a happy message as Rodolphus' face fell. However, his parents simply nodded in understanding. Mrs Lestrange placed a hand on her son's shoulder as he covered his face with his hands. He quickly slapped her hands away.

His next words were loud enough for the twins and Maureen to hear perfectly, "How could you not notice how he was feeling?"

Mr Lestrange's answer was inaudible, but it caused the blonde man to clench his hands into fists. "You're his parents for Salazar's sake. It's your responsibility to look after him, to protect him from any harm."

If she had had enough energy left, Phoenix would have wondered whether he knew how his parents had treated Rabastan like an unwanted mistake. Would he have done anything against it?

★

Rodolphus had been the one to inform the twins and Maureen that healing spells had failed Rabastan and the healers had to go back to the traditional way of mending his brother. The process took hours and when they finally brought the young man into a room he was connected to various tubes and the healers still couldn't tell if he would make it.

The family had been allowed into his room while Regulus, Phoenix, Maureen and Cara, who had arrived about an hour earlier, were still waiting outside. The youngest of the group was pacing back and forth, her sister was leaning against the wall next to the door to Rabastan's room and the twins were still sitting in their seats across the hall from the pink-haired girl. The air around them felt heavy like it was pushing them to the ground. Every breath Phoenix took felt like a thousand needles in her lungs. Her eyes were burning with tears, but she didn't allow them to fall.

How dared he?

His friends had shown him time and time again that they were there for him, even when he had pushed them away by hurting them. They had simply turned the other cheek. She felt selfish for thinking about how her world would have crumbled if she had lost one more person that was dear to her but wasn't he selfish too? In his decision to end his life he had only thought about what was best for him and taken the risk of hurting his friends and maybe, concerning how Rodolphus had reacted earlier, even his family.

It hurt to think about how he obviously didn't see a single reason to live anymore. There was nothing dear enough for him to hold on to. Unconsciously her hand grabbed the ring on his necklace. She should have noticed. Even back at the funeral, she should have questioned why he was offering her his family ring. She could have helped earlier.

Through the noise of her thoughts, she barely noticed the door to Rabastan's room open. She was only ripped out of her self-pity and self-loathing when Rodolphus moved to stand right in front of her. Hesitantly she looked up. Cara and Maureen both came closer, expectantly eyeing the older Lestrange.

"He's awake, but he'll only be for a little while. He doesn't have a lot of strength," the blonde man explained, brushing a few stray strands of hair out of his face like his little brother often did.

"Will he make it?" Regulus asked, scooting forward on his chair.

"They're not quite sure yet but considering he had enough willpower to argue with the doctor to be allowed to see you, I think his chances aren't too bad," he told them with a small smile in Phoenix direction.

Cara's eyes widened and she pointed at Phoenix. "He has requested to see her?"

"Indeed." Rodolphus nodded.

Phoenix, however, shook her head and said, "No, I'm sure he'd like to see either you or Reg first. I'm fine waiting out here."

The truth was she desperately wanted to see that he was fine. There was nothing she wanted more than to see his eyes open again and his chest falling and rising with every breath. But she wasn't ready. She didn't know what to say to a person who had just tried to commit suicide and neither did she know she should feel about the situation. Hurt? Angry? Relieved that he was alive? She had no idea.

"He explicitly requested to see you, little Black."

Phoenix blinked and slowly got to her feet. Meanwhile, Cara was stumping away down the hallway and cursed Rabastan, her and the whole world loudly.

With her shaking hand already on the doorknob, Phoenix turned to Rodolphus. "How did you go about what happened?"

"My parents did the talking. I barely uttered a word to him," the man confessed and comfortingly placed a hand on her shoulder. "Just say what you feel like saying. Nobody has more of a right to do so than you. Your magic might just have saved him after all. And besides, I'm sure you'll do great, whatever you decide to do."

"I hope so," Phoenix murmured and opened the door.

She stepped through it and instantly felt like crying all over again.