Noyade | Rabastan Lestrange [2] ✔︎

33 | YOU KNEW

They didn't return to the castle immediately. On one hand, they had trouble finding their way back and on the other, neither of them really wanted to face anyone else, as they were both completely overwhelmed by the events of the day. Phoenix had at first refused to tell the whole story of what had happened prior to Daphne's death, but had eventually figured that her silence after what she had said would only make him think the worst. However, she hadn't expected him to suggest telling Regulus and Maureen. She simply assumed that he tried to keep his mind off of the fact that they had been unable to find Jack and had no lead as to where he was. Nonetheless, the longer she thought about his suggestion she figured that it would be the right thing to do – although she still didn't know how to go about the newly found information. Maybe there simply was no right way to react to something like that.

"Let me get this straight. You confided in Bella about your worries concerning Daphne because you gathered she could help since she was older, she suggested you three could meet up during a Hogsmead weekend in some small pub and figure out what to do, but little Greengrass never showed up?" Rabastan recollected what Phoenix had told them, as they sat alone in their Common Room.

He sat across from her, next to Regulus, who wore a detached expression on his face, while Maureen was seated next to Phoenix, comfortingly running her hand over her best friend's back. Phoenix simply nodded as an answer, drying her cheeks with her palms. As soon as she had started to tell them about what had really happened, the tears had finally started to fall. She felt pathetic for crying in front of them, especially since it was her wrongdoing that had led her into the situation, but she just couldn't help it.

Rabastan leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and offering Phoenix a comforting look. "I don't see how this could have been your fault. You couldn't have known what Bella would do."

"He's right. None of this is your fault," Maureen agreed, squeezing her shoulder. "What happened to Daphne is awful, but you can't blame it on yourself."

Their words should have relieved her, but the weight just wouldn't lift itself from her heart. It rested there as if it had been tightly strapped onto it. Phoenix lowered her gaze to her hands and said, "But it was mewho asked Daphne to go to that pub, telling her that it would be more private to talk there. She didn't know about Bella and Bella wouldn't have known about Daphne's beliefs, if I hadn't told her."

"Yes, but you did it in good faith. Bella never gave you a reason to doubt her. You were always close with her growing up, wanting to be just like her. It doesn't make you a bad person to believe in the good side of her. It could have happened to anyone, really," Rabastan assured her again, obviously his task to make everyone hate him completely forgotten.

"Lestrange can be an idiot, but he's right, as much as I hate to admit this," Maureen backed him up once again. "I've been keeping in touch with Damian over the past few months. I'm sure he wouldn't even think of blaming you either – and we all know how much the death of his sister still bothers him. You've tried to help a friend, that's not a crime."

"I hope you're right," Phoenix muttered, lifting her eyes from her hands and giving the three of them a thankful look.

The only one that hadn't said anything so far was Regulus, who sat, with the same expression he had worn from the beginning to the end, next to Rabastan and stared absentmindedly at the table. Finally he looked up, getting to his feet. "I don't know why we're even discussing this. It's obvious that Greengrass had it coming, anyway."

"What the hell?" Maureen scoffed, while Phoenix tensed next to her, slowly getting to her feet as well in an attempt to level her eyes with her brother's.

Her eyes narrowed as she asked, "Did you know about this?"

Regulus chuckled, looking down at her with an amused expression now covering his face. "Would that change anything? It's in the past and there's nothing you can do about it now."

Without even realising what she was doing Phoenix found herself shoving him. He stumbled backwards, but it didn't wipe the grin off of his face. She yelled, "I can't believe it. You knew about what Bella had planned and still told me it was a good idea to meet up with her and Daphne to talk about it all?"

"I'm surprised you haven't figured it out earlier," Regulus had the nerve to laugh.

Phoenix shoved him again, this time harder, which nearly made him tumble over backwards. "This is not some difficult riddle to joke about, Reg. All this time you were preaching about trying to protect me while you were using me as a pawn in your plans? You disgust me."

"We were protecting you by keeping you in the dark. Do you really think our parents would have tolerated your sympathy towards the filthy blooded, if you hadn't been useful at all? But now you're finally strong enough to know."

"In Merlin's name, you're just like them," Phoenix cried and started towards the secret passageway, ignoring Regulus as he called out her name.

★

"Why?" was the only word Rabastan said as soon as the secret passageway had closed behind Phoenix.

Regulus was still standing little ways away from him. The cruel expression had fallen from his features and he was now staring at the entrance of the Common Room with a sorrowful look. At his best friend's outburst, however, he snapped out of his daze and turned towards Rabastan and Maureen, who hadn't moved either.

"You'll have to be a little more specific on what you want me to tell you," Regulus pointed out, running a hand through his nearly shoulder-long hair.

Rabastan crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Why would you act like that? I mean obviously you lied, but why would you lie in a matter like this one?"

"Who says I lied?" Regulus countered, seating himself in an empty armchair. "I might just as well be telling the truth."

"Because you were friends with Daphne too and on top of that I'm sure you'd do a ton of things for the Dark Lord, but I'm certain you would never kill anybody. Maybe injure them badly, but not fatally," Maureen summed up, eyeing him incredulously.

Rabastan was surprised that she hadn't gone after Phoenix. If he was being honest, he would have gone after her himself, but his curiosity about his best friend's lie had kept him put.

He watched Maureen tilt her head to the side before she added, "You know she'll hate you for that, right?"

"I'd let he hate me for the rest of her life, if it meant that it lessened the weight on top of her shoulders. She's battling so much already as it is and if she doesn't place the full blame of Daphne's death on herself, that's the least I can do for her."

★

Phoenix had wandered through the castle with no clear destination, just trying to keep away from people as much as possible. Her thoughts were racing. When Sirius had warned her that somebody was lying to her, she had never expected it to be Regulus. Not her twin brother. He had always been there for her when nobody else was, never moving from her side. She had thought it would always be that way, but in the Common Room he had seemed like a entirely different person.

Could this really be his true self and she had simply been too blind to see it?

She found herself in Jack's office, punching a boxing bag with her fists, which had started to open up over her knuckles as she wasn't wearing anything to protect them. With every new punch she tried to hit a thought in two, but she never seemed to be able to calm down. Everything was crashing down on her and she just couldn't take it. What had happened to Will had already been too much and now Jack, Daphne and her brother? It was like her whole life had been a complete and utter lie. And she just couldn't take it.

With a scream she hit the boxing bag one last time before taking a few steps backwards until she reached the wall, where she slid down until she was sitting against it with her knees pulled to her chest. Her gaze fell onto a picture standing on the desk next to her, which showed her and Jack at New Year's at the small café at the Thames. She leaned forward and grabbed it from his desk before hurling it against the opposite wall where the frame burst with a crash.

The young girl buried her face in her hands and whispered, "Why did you have to leave us now? Everything is falling apart and I can't worry about you too. Please just come back to me. I need you, Jack."

With a sob escaping her throat, she curled into a ball on the floor and allowed herself to cry.