Noyade | Rabastan Lestrange [2] ✔︎

41 | SHOCK

TRIGGER WARNING

This chapter graphically depicts suicide and I genuinely want you to skip this chapter if you don't feel like you can take this. Suicide is a heavy and serious topic and I don't want anyone to get hurt by my writing.

It's not my goal to glorify suicide, the opposite really. I simply want to show that there are people out there who feel like there's no other way out. Mental illness is reality and while it's not something cool, it should be okay to ask for help.

★

Phoenix had probably never run as fast as she did that day. The staircases in the stairwell had probably never changed direction as many times as they did and at one point she and Regulus had nearly been separated. She felt like throwing up when they finally reached the boys' bathroom on the sixth floor. Regulus wanted to push her behind him and enter first but she simultaneously pushed him away and opened the door with her powers.

At first, she didn't see anything. All the lights in the bathroom had been turned off and due to its few windows, it was rather dark. Her grey eyes had to adjust to the dimness for a few moments before roaming over the stalls and finally focusing on a leg in the back of the room. Her gaze met Regulus' for a split second and the siblings started towards it in a heartbeat.

The picture they were met with was worse than either one of them had expected. Phoenix gasped whereas her brother swore under his breath and started to take off his jumper without thinking twice. The young witch had been right, this was what her vision had tried to tell her. Rabastan had sagged against the bathroom stall, his chin on his chest and sweaty blonde hair hanging into his face. If it was even possible, he was even paler than usual and he was breathing way faster than he normally did.

All this she noticed quite quickly, but she froze at the sight of his forearms on both sides of him. Besides his numerous scars, there was one deep cut on each one of them. Blood was slowly pouring out of the wounds, travelling in small streams over his hands and creating pools of red liquid on the floor.

Regulus had fallen to his knees, placing his hands on both sides of his best friend's neck. "Rabastan, can you hear me?"

The boy simply groaned, wringing himself out of his best friend's grip. This was when Phoenix finally found her ability to move again. She pulled her wand out of her boots and kneeled down on Rabastan's other side. With her hands shaking she murmured a healing spell. The wounds slowly started to close, but when he was nearly healed they opened back up again.

"Why isn't it working?" Phoenix asked through gritted teeth, the tremor in her hand getting worse with every try.

"Shit, I didn't know that's part of his deal," Regulus murmured, taking off the shirt under his jumper as well and handing it to Phoenix. "Press this on the wound. We have to stop him from bleeding out."

Phoenix did as he said, pressing the other one of her cold hands against his cheek. "Please, Rabastan, can you hear me?"

Rabastan's eyes fluttered and he leaned his head into her hand. He breathed, "Let me go, love."

"No, I won't. I can't lose you too. Please stay with me," Phoenix urged, her throat tightening.

She didn't know what to say or do. Never had she felt so helpless. However, Regulus seemed to be rather collected.

He murmured, "This is taking too long." He handed Phoenix his jumper and gestured for her to press it against Rabastan's other forearm before starting towards the door.

Phoenix urged closer towards Rabastan to press the pieces of clothing against his wounds. All of a sudden she felt something wet against her knees and sipping through her stockings. Bile rose in her throat and she had to use all her will not to throw up. Merlin, she was kneeling in Rabastan's blood.

Without a warning, Rabastan seemed to have gained some strength and pushed her away from him, making the shirt and jumper fall from his arms. Phoenix stumbled sideways, using her arms to prevent her from falling, and stared at her ex-boyfriend, who had slumped back against the stall.

He groaned and said, "Just leave me be. This is my decision."

The young witch's mouth opened and closed like a fish. He was right. This was his decision, but had he truly thought about what he was doing? Phoenix clenched her trembling hands into fists and got to her feet once again. "I'm not letting you die, Rabastan Lestrange."

A low chuckle left his throat, which was immediately followed by a heavy cough. With a smile on his lips, he leaned back, his chest starting to rise more quickly. "There's nothing..." He coughed again. "... nothing you can do about it. I made sure of it." He took in a few shaky breaths before continuing, "It's better for everyone that way."

Immediately Phoenix started to shake her head going back to her previous position on his side and determinedly grabbing the two pieces of clothing again. Despite his protests, she pressed them against the cuts, using her powers to hold him still.

"And what about me? Or Regulus, Maureen, Damian or even Cara? What about us Rabastan? Have you ever considered how we'd feel when you were gone?" she inquired, unable to think of anything else to say.

She knew she was babbling, but from her books, she knew that people had to remain conscious when suffering from blood loss, which meant she had to keep him talking. The only problem was that he didn't answer.

"Rabastan?"

He still didn't answer. Panicking, she put a hand on his cheek, leaving a bloody stain on his white skin, and shook him. He didn't react. His head simply fell onto the other shoulder. If anything his breathing still quickened and his eyes fluttered, but nothing else happened.

"No, no, no. Come on, open your eyes!" Phoenix yelled, shaking him again.

Her eyes found the door, but it was still closed and there was no help. What was she supposed to do? She couldn't just let him die. Not him. Not anyone for that matter. But most of all, not Rabastan.

But there was nobody there to help. She had to do something. Anything.

Her mind went completely blank as she removed the shirt and the jumper from his arms and saw the blood still pouring out. Her stomach turned. "Merlin."

Then she grabbed his wrists, closing her eyes. She reached for the golden ball that was her powers. Slowly it spread through her body and into her fingertips. She opened her eyes and saw that her hands and Rabastan's arms were glowing. Her eyes widened as his blood seemed to change from red to gold and the skin started to close over his wounds. It was a slow process and the longer it was going on the dizzier Phoenix felt. Her forearms had started to burn at some point and when she looked down she saw red lines on her skin, like thin scars, that started to get thicker until they started to open up. Only then did she realise how what she had thought were healing powers actually transferred sickness and injuries from somebody else onto her own body. However, this time she couldn't risk to pass out in order to truly help him. She couldn't start to bleed out as well. As black spots started to dance through her vision, she pulled back her powers. The glow disappeared and she saw how he was only partially healed.

This had to be enough.

"Please, Rabastan, hold on. If not for yourself, then do it for me," she whispered, placing the clothing back over his wounds.