13 REASONS WHY

Kiara (2)

Kiara POV - The truth (Present)

I saw you running towards my door and I am ready whatever it takes.

"Kia!" tawag mo sakin habang naghahabol ng hininga at ginagather lahat ng gusto mong sabihin.

I assumed you already heard my tape.

I opened my door and let you in.

I gave you time to think.

"Bakit hindi mo sakin sinabi, I even introduced Franki to you. Kaya pala pareho kayong nagulat ng makita niyo ang isa't isa, I noticed it pero di na ako nagtanong." punong puno ng tanong ang mukha mo and you also want to get mad at the same time.

Paano ko sasabihin sayo na kilala ko si Franki knowing na girlfriend mo siya that time and by saying girlfriend, siya palang yung babaeng sineryoso mo sa buong buhay mo. Never ka nagpakilala sakin ng girlfriend mo, and once you did I know seryoso ka na sakanya, Its our deal and promise when we are just 13 years old.

Paano ko sasabihin na nahalikan ko na yung babaeng sineryoso mo. Hindi ko nga alam irereact ko dahil galit ako sakanya nong mga panahon yun.

Sobrang awkward malaman na the girl you love and the girl you hate is in relationship.

You looked so happy when you introduced her to me. You looked so different when you are with her.

"ask me everything, lahat ng bagay na gusto mong malaman, sasagutin ko, tulad ng sabi ko sayo after ko ibigay yung tape sayo." umupo tayo pareho sa sofa kung saan nakaharap eto sa beach front

"nong time na pinakilala ko siya sayo, do you still like her that time?"

"no" sagot ko sayo, I am mad at her that time.

"how can you say no, its like 3 months bago mangyari yung sainyo at makilala ko siya, you even kissed her, so ano wala lang yun?" sobrang confused ka sa lahat ng nangyari.

"you can't like someone again when you found out na she's the reason why your parents died. Yes, I like her, pinagtakpan ko pa nga siya about sa car. Then the next day, nalaman kong siya pala yung babae sa car accident, isa siya sa reason kung bakit namatay parents ko." naiiyak na sabi ko. I know how careful my dad sa pagdridrive lalo na pagkasama niya mom ko.

"then now after hearing all the tapes, I feel so bad, dapat di ako nagalit sakanya without asking her the truth. She was drugged, victim lang din siya sa lahat."

Pareho kaming natahimik.

"I met her nong time na di ka sumipot sa shop ng tito ko nong nagchange oil ako."

The feeling is still here. She became part of my life too.

Franki is different with all. She is not just a pretty person. She is not just lovable.

Kaya halos lahat ng taong nasa tape liked her including Diana. Alam ko kung bakit siya nagustuhan ni Diana.

May isang bagay sakanya kung bakit seneryoso siya ni Diana. Kung bakit mas nakita ni Diana si Franki kaysa ako.

Hindi ko pinagsisihan yung araw na hinalikan ko siya. Hindi ko napigilan. Sobrang cute niya, sobrang umaapaw yung presence niya that time. It was like she was a drug and I am addict. All I know is that I am super happy with her that time. Kahit ako natawa ako sa sarili ko.

I know I like Diana more than Franki.

Pero hindi ko lang talaga napigilang iexpress kay Franki yun. Mas madaling umamin sakanya, mas madaling mahalin siya. Akala ko. Akala ko after meeting her makakalimutan ko yung feelings ko kay Diana.

"I need beer." bigla siyang tumayo at kumuha ng beer sa cooler namin.

Tahimik lang kaming pareho habang uminom at nakatanaw sa beach na nasa harapan namin.

May gusto kang itanong pero nagpipigil ka.

"I told you, you can ask anything." pagputol ko sa pagdadalawang isip niya.

"bakit di mo siya pinakilala sakin, I am your bestfriend right, bakit di mo sinabi sakin na may gusto ka palang babae, bakit ang hirap mong mag-open sakin ng feelings mo, bakit bigla ka nalang di nagparamdam." you looked sad.

Stop Diana, your sad look is one of my biggest weakness beside your smirk.

After nong gabing hindi ako siputin ni Diana sa shop at after kong makilala si Franki, I decided to stop seeing Diana.

I want to move-on in everything I feel towards Diana. I did not use Franki for that but Franki filled those times na namimiss ko Diana, naiisip si Diana. Franki helped me to move on. Her presence is already enough to color my black and white life.

Franki helped me to accept the fact that Diana will never like me the way I like her without her knowing it. We never talked about Diana, We never talked about my life. We are just happy to hang out and do some stuff in repair shop.

At isa pa, that time Diana is very, as in very busy with this coffee girl she met that night.

Narealize ko na hindi na talaga siya maseseryoso sa feelings ng ibang tao. Once a player always a player.

Hindi niya alam kung ano yung feeling ng mga babaeng iniwan niya sa ere sa tuwing may bago siyang babae. Wala siyang idea na halos same lang yung feeling ng pang-iiwan niya sa feeling ng namatayan ka.

Lahat ng sayang binibigay niya laging may time limit. She made me happy like what she used to make to her girls.

I felt like hindi ako iba sa mga babaeng yun, I felt na naging palipas oras lang niya ako.

I'm not supposed to be mad but I really can't help it.

And yes, she is my bestfriend, sobrang hirap lumugar sakanya, I supposed to act like one pero hindi ako nakuntento sa friendship na mayroon kami.

Umasa ako. Gaya ng mga babaeng nakilala mo. Madaming umasa sayo Diana.

Tapos isang araw susulpot ka sa beach resort namin kasama si Franki.

Everything crashed that time. I saw how you look at her, I saw how much you love her, I saw how serious you are about her, I saw how you take care of her.

Triple kill yun Diana.
1st You love the girl I like.
2nd you love the girl I hate dahil akala ko isa siya sa reason ng pagkamatay ng parents ko, I am mad at that time
and last, It supposed to be me. The one you love or the one she love.

Kung hindi lang ako naduwag sayo, kung hindi lang ako nagalit sakanya.

You don't have any idea how much I want to confess and ask "sana ako nalang".

I am too late right?

"Kiara!" pukaw mo sa atensyon ko.

Inubos ko yung beer na hawak ko.

Maybe its not yet too late. Maybe this is the best time or not. But if I will still keep this on me. Walang mangyayari. Ayoko ng isipin lahat ng what ifs and maybes.

I need to be brave enough. I need to let it out.

"I like you Diana." I looked at you, straight forward.

As expected, you looked shocked and confused.

"I tried to forget this feeling but I can't, It still hunt me, I still feel it everytime you are here, I want to hate you for making me feel this way, I can't also blame you at the same time."

"Then I met Franki, She helped me to move on. I am almost there, kung di lang ako nagalit sakanya." I add.

Finally I said it. Finally, yung bigat na nararamdaman ko nabawasan.

Hindi ko narin napigilang umiyak, I need it too. I need to release everything.

You hugged me. I want to stay here forever with your hug. I feel relief.

And I am still waiting for you to speak.

I am waiting for you to answer or say something.

I am waiting.