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‑ˏˋ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ˊˎ‑
"𝐈 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 snacks and a board game," were the first words Lucy spoke, each syllable seeming quieter than the distant crickets chirping outside the window. I said nothing, merely watching as she busied herself with rearranging the table where my dinner still sat; untouched.
I just sat, staring at her delicate movements and sweep of her ponytail against her hidden shoulder blades. Swiveling around and raising my knees to my chest, I rested my chin on top of my knees.
There was something about her presence that put me at ease; that made me feel all warm inside. And I wasn't talking about how I was starting to love her ― that much was evident and it made my cheeks burn ― I meant it differently. Maybe it was the feeling that she never cared.
Throughout all of this, Lucy has never batted a hateful eye towards me when it came to how I was behaving. Yes, she smacked me upside the head once or twice... or ten times, but she would always find some way to make me smile; to make me believe things would change for the better.
And then, there was always my subconscious screaming back at me, trying to drown her out.
What if nothing gets better? the voice would chant. What if that sense of hope ― the sense of being safe by her side ― what if it's all false? You're lying to yourself again, Natsu. And lying never helped anyone. Certainly not you, so why pretend?
Why pretend if you already know what your life is destined to become?
"Hey, Lucy?" I kept my voice low as to not let it crack under the pressure. The pressure I was pushing down on myself. She had only stopped to look at me from over her shoulder, eyes wide in an emotion I couldn't quite place. "Why are you doing this?"
I half-expected for her to ask me what I meant by that, but instead, she turned her gaze to the ground. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was no longer in the hospital room with me; she was somewhere entirely different, somewhere I probably would never be able to go.
"Sixth grade, the first day of school," she said. "I remember how scared I was to start a new chapter in my life. A new town, a new school, new people ─ everything was new to me and I was terrified because of it." She smiled tenderly. "But I timidly stepped into my homeroom and sat towards the back, praying to whoever would listen that the teacher wouldn't introduce me.
"Luck wasn't on my side at that moment, because as soon as I was done praying, the teacher announced the class had a new student. I thought I would die right then and there, and I honestly think I almost passed out from nerves. What I do remember the most is the same day at lunch, I was out in the courtyard, reading under a tree where no one could see me."
