(Asterisk (*) = blood, self harm, suicidal thoughts and attempt)
It's been three years ever since Hamilton left. Sure, I should be happy and all, since we're enemies, but it doesn't feel the same. I've become shy and have learned to disappear out of sight. I've slowly become a quiet guy, not the obnoxious loud person I used to be. I've learned to flow with the crowd and how not to get in much trouble. At this point, I'm invisible.
I lay on my bed, staring at the roof, thinking. This is like the 50th time doing this week. Wet tears drool out of my eyes, again for the 80th time this day. Yes, day. My arms start to itch, yearning for what I've been doing since a year ago.
* I walk to the bathroom, taking out a razor from a drawer. I pull up my sleeves, revealing some old and fresh cuts. Yes, I cut myself. Disgusting, right? I press the sharp razor on my skin and start to cut. Some long and some short, but all deep. Dark crimson poured out and I sigh with pleasure.
Why stop here though? The voice says. This nightmare can end, ya know? All of our problems can all go away~ I lift up the razor to my neck. Go on~ No one will notice, not even dearest Alexander. My phone buzzed. I pick it up and see a text from Alex. I smile slightly, putting the razor down. *
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Hamilton
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Hamilton: Hi
Jefferson: Hello
Hamilton: Whatcha up to
Jefferson: Why do you ask?
Hamilton: No reason, just had a gut feeling that you were gonna do something stupid
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* I look away from my phone and look at the bloodied razor. Was committing suicide stupid? I return my focus on the phone as it buzzed again *
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Hamilshit
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Hamilton: I think I'm gonna break up with John.
Jefferson: Why? Isn't it you love him?
Hamilton: Idk don't feel the same no more
Jefferson: really?
Hamilton: yes really. Can I move to your dorm again
Jefferson: sure...?
Hamilton: thx your the best
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I felt my heart flutter at the text. That's what he said years ago. It was when he asked on a date. I screwed it up though, I'm so stupid. I spent several hours cleaning the dorm, top to bottom. Soon a knock was on the door. I finish cleaning the kitchen counter and get the door, seeing a chippy Alexander. I wonder why. "Hi!" He excitedly said, hugging me instantly. I hesitantly hug him back, remembering his warmth. Oh did I miss this...
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Wish Upon A Satellite | Jamilton
Fanfiction'"I wish Hamilton and I were together." . . . . . "Recording wish."' Jefferson has been longing for a relationship, more specifically a relationship with the one and only Hamilton. On the other hand, Hamilton seems happy with what he has. Thoug...
