Wish Upon A Satellite | Jamilton

Chapter 14 (Thomas's Pov)

When John left, I swept Alex up bridal style. He giggled as I carried him in our dorm, into our room, onto our bed. I've never been so happy and so relieved, I thought I had lost him. "Oh Tommy!" He said as I carefully dropped him onto the bed then crawling in with him. "I missed you so much!" I said, snuggling with him. "Relax! It's been only one day!" He giggled. "Yeah, one day to much!" We laughed, enjoying the embrace.

Oh how I love this man. Our laughter died down and we sat in silence, bundled together under the sheets. It was a comfortable silence. Oh how I missed his everything. His mocha eyes that were always filled to the brim with love and care. His slightly wavy dark brown hair that was always soft to the touch. His slightly pink lips that always held that stupidly handsome grin. His body that was always perfect in my eyes. The say his voice sounded. I loved every bit of him, even the imperfections. So this is love?

"...What are we?" Alex mumbled. "Whatever you want us to be," I said, slightly smiling. "I don't... really want to be official yet." My smile slightly dropped, "That's ok, take your time." He slightly shuffled away from me. I blink at the sudden movement, confused. "What's wrong?" I ask. "I-I don't know." He muttered in response. "I can give you some room." I said as I sat up and left the room.

He didn't grab my wrist and told me to stay, he didn't call out to me as I left, he didn't say no. I walk to the couch, slightly disappointed. What if he wants to leave? I get back up and pace the room. What if he gets together with someone else? I paced faster. What if he never loved me? I put my face in my hands, finally sitting back down. My leg bounced, anxiety creeping up on me. I want him to stay.

     My feeling get more tangled when I think about it more. Alex was distancing me more and more. It was worrying. "Alex?" I asked, snapping him away from his train of mysterious thoughts. "Are you alright? You've been... distant." He coughed, twirling his thumbs. "Yeah I'm fine." I mumbled, turning back to his work. I grinned and turned his around, making him look at me. "Are you sure? I'm worried." He merely said the same thing again.

"I don't believe you." He grumbled out of frustration. "I don't know, okay!?" He yelled a little, becoming quieter at the end. "S-sorry... I'm just confused." I raised an eyebrow. "Confused? Like feelings confused?" He nodded, looking away. "I just... I think I still have feelings for John..."