Looking For You

Chapter 6 - Confused

Chapter 6 - Confused

Thursday approached and I was feeling as tired as anything. I studied until midnight but couldn’t get to sleep after almost three hours of tossing and turning in my cold bed. Bags are evident under my eyes and my hair isn’t in its best shape today. I probably look like a mess, but who can notice when everyone is squeezing through the crowded hallways to get to first period?

I woke up ten minutes after my alarm went off and my eyes try to stay open as I navigate my way to my locker. All the noise that fills my ears gives me a headache, making me slightly lose my balance and bump into bulky jocks. I got a few, “hey watch where you’re going’s”, and narrow-eyed stares, but I just walked past them, finally approaching my locker.

As I collect my books for philosophy class, the halls quieten down and the usual late comers speed past me, causing my black hair to swing back and forth along my back. A small giggle escapes my lips, thinking that my classroom is only just down the hall. But my small laughs are silenced by grunts being heard from opposite me. Banging on the lockers is another sound effect that startles my senses, and my body flinches when a loud bang hits the locker.

My instinct tells me to turn, and I slowly rotate my body and scan my eyes at the commotion that scares me. I can tell from his caramel coloured hair and small height that it’s Christian banging his fists on his locker door, dragging his grunts out to extremes. They echo through the hallway, causing heads to turn his way.

My mouth doesn’t open, it stays shut and a large lump forms in my throat. I don’t dare to speak; I just watch Christian rummage through his locker with balls of paper spilling from the edge. My eyebrows furrow at the sight of multiple papers being thrown out; I’m curious to know what they are. 

Christian steps back and I immediately press my back against the lockers, careful not to make a sound. He bends and picks up the papers from the ground and storms over to the bin that is to the right of this section of lockers. He doesn’t even notice me when he walks back to repeat the process. I’m totally confused and my mind has forgotten all about class. Right now, I need to find out what those papers hold.

After a minute of throwing out papers, Christian’s locker is free from the scrunched up balls. His grunts are small now, and his frown is still knitted across his beautiful face. It hurts me to think he’s upset at something. I don’t feel right when he’s upset; it makes me feel out of place. His locker is slammed shut, waking me from my thoughts. Christian stomps away, not even taking out any books for the morning — he just disappears down the hall and escapes out through an emergency exit. I’m left stunned.

My rigid body is pasted against the lockers and I’m terrified that when I release myself from this statue-like position, he could enter back and start yelling. But I’m positive he isn’t because minutes of silence pass before I creep over to the bin and take a peek inside.

The whole top is covered in white papers — people could mistake them for study sheets. An idea comes to mind and I immediately disregard it; but it creeps back into my mind and urges me to do so. I bite my lip, unsure of what to do. My eyes glance around the hallway, always being empty from the time that passes, and they go back to the paper that makes me more curious by the second.

I give in and reach my hand in, careful not to let my books slide in the bin. My shaky hand grasps one, not wanting to take another page in case I’m digging deep into something too private. I have always wondered about what these pages contained, I remember the other day when I saw heaps of them lying on the shelves, almost taking up his whole locker. Now I’ve got one in my hand, and I have the freedom to open it and read it right now.