Lost myself // yoonmin ( m.yg • BTS)

8 - To help or at least try to

"I thought about how there are two types of secrets: the kind you want to keep in, and the kind you don't dare to let out."

Third POV

It was 2 am in the night and Yoongi was still not home. Seokjin  knew that this was normal but he had an uneasy feeling. The younger  hadn't even responded to the oldests texts, asking him if he had eaten or not.

Seokjin couldn't sleep ...not until he saw his oldest dongsaeng at least. He quietly headed downstairs, grabbing his hoodie and putting on his sneakers. He took the car keys off the key holder and headed out the door.

The oldest arrived at the bighit building in roughly 15 minutes and greeted the security guard hyung as he showed his ID card. The guard didn't question Seokjin's late night appearance as it was quite usual for him to see one or the member coming late at night to check on the others.

Seokjin stepped into the elevator and pressed the 10th floor button. A feeling of anxiousness increased in his heart as he watched the numbers on the screen ascend to 10.

He didn't know why but felt as though something was wrong.

He stepped out of the elevator and walked silently towards the oldest rapper's studio. But he stopped in his tracks, his eyes and ears on alert as a loud crashing sound resounded in the dimly lit hallway. 

He slowly took a step forward but his pace quickened and his eyes widened as he realised that the sound rather came from Yoongi's studio.

He, now, worriedly stood in front of the door to Yoongi's studio, afraid to knock or do anything at all. He heard Yoongi crying and his hand immediately reached for the door knob when he stopped as he heard the younger talking.

The younger was whispering but Seokjin could understand what he was saying.

"Why does it hurt so much?", Yoongi said.

"Why do I have to go through it again and fucking again?!

"Just WHY?!".

Seokjin's heart broke into a million pieces as he heard the younger sob and scream in pain. He was right, though he really wished he wasn't. There was, in fact, something wrong with his oldest dongsaeng. And he would do anything to make it better for him.

Seokjin could hear the younger say some other things but his sobs made it inaudible.

"Why am I miserable all fucking over again?!". He screamed. "ME! The fucking problem is me!".

This was all he heard before it all went silent. Panic started rising in Seokjin's mind as he thought of the worst of the worst and his hands swiftly entered the passcode to Yoongi's studio when he realized the door was locked.

He was about to say something as he pushed open the door but he stopped in his tracks and put his hand over his mouth to stop himself from making any noise.

What he saw in front of him was heartbreaking. He felt tears forming in his eyes but closing his eyes he bit his lips as he held himself together.

Papers and files were scattered everywhere in the room. Thankfully all technical equipment was on the table and not the floor.

Yoongi was in the middle of the room, curled up in a ball, fast asleep. Seokjin's eyes landed on the small red spots on the floor near Yoongi. He walked quietly towards the younger to get a closer look.

He kneeled down beside the younger and his eyes widened in worry and shock as he clarified it to be blood.

Yoongi's blood.

And although it was a small amount, Seokjin was worried out of his mind. He got up and wiped the tears that had escaped. He turned around and closed the door.

He cleaned up the couch which was littered with soda cans and empty chip bags. The oldest set the pillow and blanket in place and slowly took Yoongi in his arms. He set the younger on the couch, placing his head carefully on the pillow and relaxed the younger's legs and arms before putting a blanket over him.

He saw Yoongi's right-han knuckles bruised and red. It wasn't anything major but Seokjin decided he would treat the wounds when the younger wakes up.

Seokjin was tired alright but he decided to clean up Yoongi's studio. He picked up all the papers and files as quietly as possible and set them down on the desk. He picked up the broken pen and threw it in the trash can.

The room looked clean and much more presentable now and with that Seokjin collapsed on the black rolling chair. He brought the chair closer to Yoongi so he could watch over him as closely as possible.

He looked at Yoongi and stared while questions bombarded him in his mind.

What's hurting you, Yoongi...

What don't you want to go through again?

Why on earth would you call yourself a problem?

What's going on Yoongi?

What the hell are you going through...

And as his mind circled around these questions, the oldest fell asleep on the chair. The two oldest were both having their own dilemma. And neither of them had a clue on what to do.

What hurts more?

Them finding out

You're torn

Or

Your silent screams for help, your shouts

That no one ears or knows

____________________________

I broke you

But you fixed yourself again

But how long till you break for the last time.

Huh?

______________________

a/n: I'm tired and sleepy and i had a study leave today but I didn't study at all and i feel regret..what's new in that lol...mid-terms start from Monday with the first exam being Social which I'm pretty good at but I still need to study 12 chapters in one day which is tomorrow which is sunday...what am I even saying?

Ok so enough with me..how are you guys? How's life treating you? Hopefully good and if not, PM. I'm always here for you!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter and pls vote, comment..i would appreciate it a lot and it motivates me to keep writing as i know someone is reading although ik that some of you are reading and i'm so grateful and thankful for that....so yeah that's it

Have a good day or night! Love ya! Fighting! Annyeong!