Lost myself // yoonmin ( m.yg • BTS)

20 - Reliving a nightmare

"Your demons are waiting to wake up"

THIRD POV

Yoongi gasped as he jolted awake from his vivid nightmare. He hadn't gotten a full fledged nightmare of that day since pre-debut. Only bits and pieces. Never an entire flashback.

It was a surprise yet it was expected. Yoongi had been continuously stressing over their recent comeback, the release of their MVs and the tour that was going to start next year.

He was already falling again and the work stress only made him weaker both physically and emotionally.

And that's why as Yoongi was working in his studio, after dance practice, he had fallen asleep and it felt like he had relived that horrible day again.

Only after a few seconds of waking did he realise he was crying. His heart was aching as his mind replayed the scene when his girlfriend died in his arms. He clutched his chest as his heart sped up it's pace.

Yoongi shivered as the cold air of the air conditioner met his hands and legs. He could feel himself starting to shake and his breathing becoming harsh almost as if he was panting.

He knew this feeling all too well as his mind darkened and a feeling of suffocation took over him as that day replayed in his head. He could hear Naoji's screams and his own echoing.

His eyes aimlessly wandered observing his studio. But he wasn't seeing his surroundings but rather the scenes from that day. It was like he was in another world in his mind.

The same feeling of helplessness and misery took over him and he couldn't breathe. Yoongi clutched his chest tightly as he let out choked sobs. He could feel his skin burning and he knew exactly what was happening. And it only made his thoughts more dark and negative to know that he was having a panic attack after almost 4 years.

He truly had lost himself again. All that control for nothing. He thought.

He sobbed as he struggled to breathe. Every intake of air was as if he was drowning and trying to take in oxygen but all he was getting was water making his lungs burn.

The rapper was trying his best to control his breathing but he just couldn't. All his attempts were going in vain. It had been so long.

Yoongi was feeling as if he was going to die. It was hurting so much and his mind was a complete utter mess. He was so sure he was going to die and the events of the day, his life changed forever, kept playing again and again in his head like a broken record.

"Hyung sorry to barge in again but-", Jungkook had just entered the genius lab but his eyes widened as he saw his hyung sobbing and struggling to breathe. "Hyung!".

Jungkook rushed to Yoongi's side and knelt in front of his chair, unsure of what to do. He had no idea on how to handle his hyungs state.

"H-Hyung...calm down..you gotta breathe," Jungkook said as he placed his hand on Yoongi's hand. But the younger's words did not calm Yoongi down at all.

Jungkook frantically looked around for a solution or an idea to help his hyung before his mind clicked and he dashed out of the room. Not more than a minute later he returned with Namjoon by his side. The youngest rapper's eyes widened, like the maknae, at the sight he was met with.