Lost myself // yoonmin ( m.yg • BTS)

17 - cope til you make it

"I knew who I was when I woke up this morning, but I've changed a few times since then."

YOONGI POV

I walked in the dark hallway as my chest rose up and down unevenly. I stopped before the room that had a slate saying "PDOGG".

We had just gotten back from doing our blood sweat & tears comeback and as soon as we had left for the dorms, I had gotten a text from pdogg hyung, asking me to come over to his office.

It had been 4 days since I had given him the demo. 4 days since I had relapsed.

I knocked on the door as I got back to reality. A small 'come in' was heard as I opened the door.

"Ah Yoongi-ah!", He said with a big smile.

I was confused to say the least. I thought the demo wasn't good. I thought he asked me to come so he could tell me that.

Maybe he's trying to be gentle. I thought to myself.

But No. I didn't want his pity. I wasn't a kid. And although I had said I wouldn't be able to take the fact that the demo was a failure, I was fine now. What more could possibly happen now, now that I had relapsed?

So without thinking, I said in a cold tone

"Hyung no need to be so nice. Just tell me that the demo was horrible,".

"What?" Hyung asked genuinely confused at my sudden comment. "I called you here to tell you that the demo was beyond amazing...why would you think such?".

My mouth hung open in surprise.

Beyond amazing?

I thought it was bad....

"I-I..you didn't say anything after you listened..so I assumed.." I said unsure of what to say as being in a state of shock.

"Oh yoongi-ssi, you mistook my silence..you really are a pabo sometimes," he said as he chuckled lightly. "I was in awe..I have seen your work..and It's always perfect..so I couldn't believe the fact that you showed me something more than perfect."

I was at a loss of words. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"T-Thanks hyung," I said still dazed.

"It's your hard work. Now I also wanted to ask you if you could work on the completion of this song."

"Yeah ofc I can," I replied with a small smile.

"Great! I hope we can record in a week or so?" he asked.

I nodded in reply and we bid each other goodbye. I was lost in my thoughts as I walked out of the office and the building, entered the van and reached the dorms and silently went up to my room.

I assumed wrong...

I doubted myself...

I let myself become weak and submit to the negativity!

And now I was back at square one...

Everything was in vain. Even me relapsing.

Was this really my fate? I asked myself as I closed my eyes.

SEOKJIN POV

I opened the door to our shared room and entered to see the lights on. I frowned as I didn't recall Yoongi coming back. But I soon sighed and shook my head as I saw the pale boy sleeping soundly on the bed.

Yoongi had been way better since when I had found him that day in his studio, drunk. He was eating properly, sleeping well. But in recent days, he had been getting annoyed very easily.

I would find him staring at nothing. Very similar to when we had first started to train together. Actually very similar to just a couple months back, before I had found him in his studio.

I could've asked him what the matter was right? But we all know how that would turn out.

So here I was, confused as to what I should do. Was this just one of his phases? Was it the stress of the comeback? The release of the album and it's probable response? Would he back to himself soon? That is what I hoped for.

But I wasn't the only one noticing all this and wondering. Everyone saw it. Namjoon and hoseok would occasionally exchange worried, nervous glances with me as they would eye the second oldest.

The maknae line would just look at us with a glint of hope in their eyes, so as to find out what was really wrong.

We internally feared that he would go back to his reserved self as he had been in the pre debut days. Not talking to anyone and really just minding his own business.

And it had been merely four days since this had begun. We really had no idea as to what to do next rather than to just wait and see. see if things got better or not

and none of us really realized that the future held regrets more than one could have in a lifetime.

_________________________

words

they mean nothin

actions

they do nothing

life

is nothing

_____________

broken glass

breaks faster

the second time

ready...

__________

a/n: short chapter..sorry

Almost one month no update..sorry.

Hope you enjoy...btw we gonna see many new povs now..

And there is going to be a flashback soon so we'll finally know what happened really happened in yoongi's past and who 'her' is.

Comment and vote! It really motivates me!

And if you need someone to talk to...Pls PM me...I'm here for you. Stay patient! Stay strong! Have a good day or night! Love ya! Fighting! Annyeong!