Different Worlds (wlw) Editing

F O R T Y - T W O

For days I didn't know what felt real and it ate away an enormous chunk of my mind. I couldn't make it to work because of how I felt.

The fear and the trauma had all combined into this shattering capsule of darkness and I needed Raye more than anything but she wasn't there.
I'd tried calling her phone just to hear her voice but I was made to understand that the number no longer existed.

I explained to my sister what I wanted and although she advised me against it, she till took me back to Raye's.

There I met a few of the guys and long story short, I wasted my time going there. They couldn't (or may have refused to) tell me where she was, each gave me very judgemental glared.

All I wanted though was to talk to her but it seemed as if I wouldn't get too.
And again I plunged into the now existing void of depression, guilt, and confusion.

I started blaming myself for how my life had turned out and honestly it was all me. Where I was at the point was only the works of myself and I acknowledged it yet still that did nothing for me.

I was still hurting and bothered by Raye's indefinite absence and also the repetitive memory of Giovanni dying.
That tormented me at night, leaving me unable to sleep while thoughts and memories of Raye did the trick of haunting me throughout the day.
There was no peace and I knew there would be none for a very long time.

There was no peace and I'd come a long way with it in terms of acknowledging what bothered me. All that was left to do was fixing the mess.
I was safe, so far and all that I needed to get my life back in tract was help in getting over the events that broke me.

* *

There seemed to be no violence among the mobs for a good few seconds until I caught what was happening on the streets from the news. I was at my sister's apartment, alone and in front of the television. I needed it to drown out my deafening thoughts when I caught the breaking news.

Minutes ago someone was killed and from the details, it appeared to be a member of the Irish mob.
The news reporter had started mentioning the ongoing dispute between the rival gangs and had even shed a brief history of how long it was going on. Afterwards, a picture of the man was released and low and behold it was the guy that was shot by Jimmy because of how he was harassing me at the club a few weeks ago.
I didn't know why but hearing of his demise gave me a sense of satisfaction and for a brief moment, I started to feel better.

I knew what else was coming, that first death was just the tip of the iceberg as many more were to come.

After watching the news an unexpected thought came straight into my line of focus and I was rather compelled to follow through. I found myself dressing into more appropriate clothing to head out and without so much as another consideration, I left my sister's apartment.

* *

It took me about an hour or just a bit less to get to the restaurant and when I got there it was filled with people. I knew who I had come to see and once I was greeted by a waiter who had a familiar face, he went in search of Luca, Raye's uncle who appeared just minutes after.

"Brienna, how are you?" He asked somewhat surprised to see me but his smile was warm and welcoming but I also saw him looking at me a little concerned.

"Hey, I'm fine I just thought I'd drop by, I hope you don't mind?"

"Nonsense, you're family here. Can I get you a table?" He asked and I shook my head.

"No, thanks I didn't come to eat, sorry. I-I came because I wanted to talk to you about  Raye," I replied and his face went cold. He looked around for a bit before, addressing me.