Different Worlds (wlw) Editing

F I F T Y - T H R E E

Telling my friends about Raye so I could get it out of the way was all I wanted. I spent a lot of time figuring out how I was going to tell them.

Maybe over dinner at my place just as I had I done with my parents, perhaps at a bar after getting them each sorta tipsy.

The way to do it was unclear and I was starting to get even more torn apart by it.

Why should it matter to anyone if Raye and I were a thing again?
I couldn't quite let go of that question.

She wasn't bad to me, ever and it's what everyone needed to know. The fact that I couldn't figure out how to tell them left me bothered, heated, depressed.
I feared that they wouldn't understand, and I had every reason to be.
The last time it didn't go down so well among us. Ava made it clear that I was gullible for dating Raye while Chris and Mia kept their prejudice well to themselves; I knew it was there, however.

The fear of them judging me was what kept me unsure, and I told Raye.
I needed her advice on what to do now more than ever.

She came over to my place and we sat cuddled up in one another's arms watching Friends on my couch.
I brought up the topic, disregarding the show being played in the background, rubbing my thumb against Raye's arm to draw her attention.

"I'm a little scared to tell them ya know and I know I shouldn't be, but I am."

"Then don't tell then, there's always that alternative. You don't owe them anything, Brienna."

Raye's answer made me think, and I knew she was partially right; I didn't owe my friends an explanation for each of my actions but I felt like I did, maybe out of respect or love for them that I wanted too.

Most of them hardly ever kept anything from me and I knew I'd be letting them down if I didn't give them a heads up.
Turning to face Raye, she and I ended up being apart just a little so that we could see each other.

"I know you don't quite understand why I have too, but yes I do owe them something. They were there for me when coping without you was hard. They, along with therapy and the support of my family helped me to heal just a little. It would be rude and cold of me not to let them know that you and I have decided to give us another try.
I don't want to tell them, Raye, I need too, they're family too."

"I do understand baby, I do but what I'm trying to say is if you're not ready don't rush it. I know why you're hesitant and it's fine. If you want to wait and make sure that what we have is solid again, you can do that."

"What, no!" I frowned.

"I'm not hesitant because of fear that we aren't going to last, I know what we have is already solid." I trialled off pinning my eyes to hers.

"I'm just worried that they wouldn't accept it. I'm worried they'd get mad and read out my past to me, I'm worried that they might stop talking to me. Everyone's aware of what you are and do, they don't know that you're not like that any more of recent but I'm afraid they'll still be concerned because of it."

"I understand," Raye sighed, throwing her head back against the couch.

There was silence between us but in the background, the show still played, however not good enough to recapture either of our attentions.

"I have an idea," Raye started to say, lifting her head back up to look at me.

"Okay,"

"I know you're worried about telling your friends about us, but what if you don't do it alone?"

"I've thought about it before," I answered remembering the few times where I thought about doing what I did with my parents to them.
It would be just as ballsy, I know but also an effective way for everyone to meet Raye again and likewise.
They could ask whatever, and we'd all talk and I was hoping like adults.