Different Worlds (wlw) Editing

F O R T Y - T H R E E

Christopher and Mia were really supportive friends and I couldn't ask for any others better than them.

Ava, on the other hand, was a little sketchy. She was angry that I had kept most of what took place in my life from her and I didn't blame her.
It wasn't my intention to make her the last to know what went down but it happened that way and well now she chose to hold some of it against me.

She made it clear that she hated the fact that I had gotten involved with Raye now that she knew she was dangerous.
However, Chris and Mia were the definitions of good friends. They didn't belittle me to make me feel worse than how I already felt but they did their best to uplift me. They came over to see me every chance they could and I even discussed my plans on going to therapy with them and they encouraged me.

"I mean if you think it'll help to cope with the thoughts and the memories on what happened go for it, babe."

"Thanks, Mia." I smiled a little.

"She hasn't tried reaching out to at least see if you're okay?" Christopher asked and I shook my head.

"Not once but I did. I tried her phone and I even went to her uncle in the hopes that he could've at least tell me where she was but he didn't. Apparently, she just disappeared."

"You believe that she disappeared?"

"Well, I believe that she's around but is intentionally avoiding me. I did break up with her after all."

"I see. So what if she does come back, what would you do?"

"I don't know," I answered Chris's question as honestly as I could.

I didn't know what I'd do. Most of me wanted to say that I'd accept her and forget that we had split for that short while, and then the other half wanted me to say that I'd tell her it was best if we continued living like this. Although I didn't want too. Maybe I did wanted her back but was scared to admit it.

Screw that!

I want her back despite all the violence and the deaths and it's why I needed to stay away. What good would there be inviting all of that back into my life?

"You know whatever you decide to do we'll be here supporting you all the way right?" Mia struck up and I turned to her. She was resting her head against the back of the couch staring at me, and I reached forward and hugged her.
She squeezed me tightly and I did the same.

"I love you guys so much." My eyes stung with tears after I pulled away.
"Most people wouldn't have been so calm and relaxed like you guys. Most people wouldn't have stuck around because they would've been afraid, yet you two complain when it's time to leave." I added and both of them laughed.

"That's because we love you too and I know that if the shoe was on the other foot you would've done the same for both of us."

"Yeah," Chris agreed and he and I both knew the significance of his answer.
To this day I hadn't mentioned a word to the girls that he was also a gang member. We never talked about telling them and because of that I never uttered a word nor would I ever, unless he asked me too.

As the evening got older and we spoke more I told them that I was resigning from the hospital to get help.
I made them understand that I couldn't work because of how I felt. I knew the terrors in the night would always keep me up and I would not be able to perform at my best if I was constantly tired or anxious. They understood without so much as showing anything condescending and it made me feel good to have such supportive friends.
Although everything had fallen apart for me, my friendship with them was still well intact.

* *

It was my first day of Therapy and I was a nervous wreck. I knew why I was so scared but I was afraid to admit it to Cassie. After all, she was the one who promised to take me. I was scared at the idea of talking to someone who wasn't close to me as my sister or friends. I knew they would be professional but I felt there would still be some amount of prejudice in their mind that they would never utter. It's a very human thing.

I didn't want to give anyone the wrong impression about the issue with me being involved to some extent in the mafia. Sure I wasn't a killer, or a thief or any of those things but I knew a lot that most people didn't and for some that qualify as something.

The drive to the therapist's office was done in complete silence. Cassie knew that I was nervous and she didn't force me into talking. By the time we'd gotten to the office, I felt completely drained of life. My palms were sweating profusely and I felt cold for some reason.
Cassie looked over and saw me, and then reaching across pulling me in for a hug.

"Don't be nervous, you're just going to talk about how you feel and everything that's bothering you. It'll be confidential so you don't have to be afraid of anything."

"But I am. I'm scared shitless. I don't know how to feel about telling a stranger things not even our parents know. I'm just afraid that this man is going to judge me."

"That's not his job Brie and I know that's why you're scared. His job is to help you get over Raye and the incident at the stoplight, that's his job. To help you cope enough with the grief and the guilt and whatever it is that you're feeling so eventually you'll be able to not feel it so bad."

Cassie was making a point that I had to agree with but I didn't want to forget Raye or get over her, she wasn't the problem. I wasn't going to Therapy to get over her because I was still in love.
I just wanted to forget the whole Giovanni thing and everyone else's death. I just did not want to forget Raye.

"Now come on, let's get you inside. Your session with Mr Ricci starts in ten minutes and I'd be damned if I let you go in late. That motherfucker is charging a shitload for the hour." Cassie ranted and I moved away from her embrace and laughed, leaving the vehicle while she did I looked at her,

"You do know I'm the one paying for all this right?"

"Yes but I'm allowed to complain. Money is money, it doesn't matter if it's coming from your pocket or mine," she replied laughing and as we walked up towards the building, she grabbed ahold of my hand and squeezed tightly.
She wasn't aware but that little contact made me feel safe and washed with a sense of security.

I was happy to have her at my side on my first step to recovering from things that weren't really my fault.
It would've been harder if I hadn't told anyone about me dating Raye, and now looking back I was glad that I did.
I wasn't alone despite sometimes I felt like I was since I broke up with Raye.
Eventually, all this would just be a memory that wouldn't spark a flame anywhere within me, but it'll take time.

A very long time.

A/n

So. I know this wasn't exactly a long chapter, but there were some things I needed to shine a little light on a bit.
Also I know a few of you guys were somewhat sad after learning that Raye and Brie broke up ,but ya know it be like that sometimes.
Just maybe the ending might make a few of you smile though or not...
I still appreciate all the attention the story is getting and I am forever grateful ❤️