Butterflies~~ Shirbert

Chapter twenty-one: Air

(Don't play the song yet)
Air.
Anne needed air.
"STOP!"
She screamed as she felt fingernails dig into the sides of her head.
"HELP!"
"If you say anything else you disgusting witch, you'll regret it."
The girl from her orphanage, proven her words to be true as Anne screamed once more.
"STOP PLEASE."
The girls piled more blankets over her body, being sure to hold it especially tight around her airways. Anne was under twenty blankets, fighting to be free unsuccessfully, for the girls held her legs and arms down harshly. She knew she would have bruises the next day.
"Yeah that's right, you say anything and we hold tighter."
The girls let out menacing laughs.
"You'll finally know who is boss around here, so. Don't. Say. Another. Word."
"Hey witch do you understand that."
Anne didn't respond.
"I said, WITCH DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT."
Anne only nodded her head, a motion that was barely distinguishable due to the abundance of fabric covering her.
The girls laughs grew louder and louder, taunting Anne as she hyperventilated. She was beginning to suffocate as the girls brought more and more blankets into her, and held them over her tighter and tighter.
She screamed as loud as she could, which wasn't much due to the fabric muffling her voice.
"HELP!"
~
Gilbert had been shuffling in and out of sleep for the past three hours since he came to bed. He couldn't get his mind off Anne.
Anne who was sleeping just in the other room.
Anne who he wondered If smelt as the wool blankets that covered him did.
Anne who he could speak to if he only knocked on her door once, which was steps away.
Anne who made it so he had to bite his lip and grip the sides of the wooden bed frame so he wouldn't run and jump into bed with her.
Anne who he craved closeness with, not just physical but emotional as well.
He wanted to know her, really know her. He wanted to know about her past, all she's been through. As of now he only knew that she came from an orphanage, and maybe that was all there was to it. After all he had no recollection of how an asylum ran, or the quality it represented. But the eyes can't lie, and something dark was hidden behind the childlike wonder in Anne's river eyes.
"HELP!"

(PLAY SONG) (a/n go read staring and reflections and oceans and oceans sequel by blythexcarrots Just read all of it! I got the song from them, and I can't say enough how amazing their fan fics are, okay anyways, rant over)

His thoughts stopped abruptly as he heard the shouts from Anne's room. His heart raced as he jumped up and ran from his room straight into hers, without a second thought.
Is she okay?
What if someone had kidnapped her?
What if she is hurt?
The thoughts ran wild before he registered what was in front of him. He could not bare the thought of something happening to Anne.
His eyes adjusted to what lay in front of him.
A kicking and flailing Anne sobbed Hysterically and grunted as she held her blanket over her head. He could hear her panicked hyperventilating. What was she doing? He quickly bent down to try to pry the blanket from her hands but she held it tighter.
"Anne, Anne wake up."
He said softly but firmly.
But she didn't wake up. She cried harder and yelled.
"Stop, please stop, please."
Her pleading brought tears of worry to Gilbert's eyes, he knew this was a nightmare but he had never once seen anyone in this state during a bad dream.
He shushed her and put his hands over hers, gripping tightly in an attempt to ground her. The bed squeaked as he sat down by her side, only to be kicked in the back by her.
He grabbed her blanket covered leg with one arm and softy brought it down.
He noticed how she tug her fingers into the sides of her head, he wanted to make her stop, for she was surely hurting herself.
Finally after two minutes Anne relaxed enough for Gilbert to move the blanket off her face.
His breath caught as he saw dampness under her eyes, and her frightened expression. Her eyes were still closed but she wasn't moving. With one hand he grasped her hand and with the other he reached out and wiped the tears from under her eyes then attempted to sooth her expression by running his fingers gingerly where she furrowed her eyebrows. Her face did relax as he whispered.
"Your okay Anne, your okay, it was just a dream, your okay."
Her tears kept flowing as she hiccuped from her sobs. Gilbert continued to caress her face as he wiped away the tears that rapidly fell. He shushed her calmly as he continued to say.
"Your safe Anne, I am here, it is okay, its okay Anne."
Even in the state she was in, Gilbert couldn't help but observe how beautiful she was. Her freckles quite literally took his breath away, oh and her lips. He moved his eyes up to hers that were now fluttering open before he got ahead of himself.
~
Something about the way the girls in her orphanage held her hand felt different. It felt farmiliar yet new, it felt tender. She observed the softness of her bullies hand as they touched her face. It was different, and she wasn't suffocating under blankets anymore.
She could breath now.
She breathed in and out deeply.
Air she never realized how nice it was.
She moved her hand and placed it on her chest, relishing in the feeling.
~
Annes hand that Gilbert held moved to be placed in her chest. Gilbert could physically feel his face heat up,
His hand was on her chest.
He could feel her heart beating quickly. He cleared his throat trying to recollect himself. He looked at their intertwined hands and he let the thought slip in him head that
it looked perfect.
It looked right.
Anne was physically hot and sweaty to the touch, it worried Gilbert,
what was she dreaming about?
He wished he could take it away, whatever it was.
~
After a moment of simply breathing Anne realized something.
Someone was holding her hand.
And it was not the retched girl from her orphanage, no it was farmilar.
Was it who she thought it was, her heart started to beat faster than it already was.
"Anne, anne it's okay, your safe, I'm here."
Oh my goodness.
It's Gilbert.
She could feel herself blushing.
Gilbert was the one caressing her face.
Gilbert was the one holding her hand.
Gilbert was the one sitting on her bed.
Gilbert was the one who made her calm and excited all at the same time.
Gilbert was there.
As she recalled again the terror she had just experienced she reminded herself. It was just a nightmare. She told herself. Everything is okay.
She almost didn't want to open her eyes.
She wanted to savor this moment, this moment where she felt loved.
Not that Gilbert loved her, she is sure he doesn't, because how could he.
She finally opened her starry eyes.
~
Gilbert's heart sped up rapidly as he noticed her eyes opening.
"Anne?"
She hummed as a response.
Her eyes then met his. Inevitably sending shocks down his body. It was crazy to him how she could do something as simple as look at him and make him worry that his knees would buckle out from under him.
The intense relief he felt the moment she responded to him was overwhelming.
"Are you okay?"
Anne wondered how much he had witnessed.
"Yeah."
It came out more as a croak so she cleared her throat and said.
"I'm fine."
Fine,
that wasn't good enough for Gilbert.
"What were you dreaming about."
He said with his eyebrows furrowed.
His hand that was touching her face rested on the left side of her head, his fingers in her hair. He moved his hand shyly away from her hair only to be startled by blood on his fingers.
"Y-your bleeding!"
Anne only glanced at his hand then looked up at the ceiling.
This was not surprising to her.
"I'm fine."
She repeated in an attempt to stop him from questioning her further.
The attempt failed of course for Gilbert cared far to much about her and was far to worried to walk away.
"Anne your not fine."
Anne sat up and put her head in the hands, ripping her hand away from his.
"Anne what's wrong."
Anne ran her hands through her hair in frustration. Her woulds were not serious so it wasn't painful, in fact there was a minimal amount of blood but still that's not why it scared Gilbert.
"I'm just tired of this."
Gilbert was very confused.
What was she talking about?
And of course his thoughts drifted to the fear that she was talking about them, that she was tired of there friendship.
"You mean your dreams right?"
He said trying to hide the nervous paranoia out of it.
"Yes, I just, ah I wish I didn't still have these dreams."
Anne looked up and met his worried eyes.
She had this urge to tell him everything right now.
It was a peculiar feeling, she was always very closed off about her past, but in this moment she felt she had to tell him.
"What happened Anne?"
He said it so genuinely and with such sincere sympathy it made her heart feel as if it were glowing.
"I uh- when I was in the orphanage, at night the girls would try to suffocate me."
As she told it, flashbacks of the unwanted memories filled her brain. She wanted to be tough, to not cry. So she bit her lip and blinked her eyes three times then continued.
"They would pile all their blankets over my body and hold it tight over my head."
Gilbert felt he needed to reach out and hug her or hold her hand. He needed to touch her somehow.
But he didn't.
He felt a rush of anger towards her bullies.
How could they not see how special Anne is?
Or
Maybe that's why they bullied her.
"And I have nightmares about it all the time, it feels as if it will never end, like my sorrows weave me through their endless chain of melancholy and fear."
This time Gilbert couldn't help it.
Somehow in a burst of confidence he reached out and gingerly placed his hand on her back.
"The scariest thing about it it that it's not a dream it's a memory.
"A memory that's on replay constantly in my head, all of these awful things they did, I figured by now I would be past the nightmares. I mean it's been years, but still. Every. Single. Night."
She put her head in her hands again.
Gilbert began rubbing comforting circles on her back softly.
"I am so sorry Anne, I wish I could stop it, you have no idea how much I wish I could."
Anne kept her face in her hands, nodding softly.
She didn't want to bring up her head because she knew that if she did it would reveal the tears that rose in her eyes.