"No Khaled, I can't. You deserve someone wealthier. Someone who can fit in your family easily and lives by your culture. Someone who is smart and beautiful. You deserve someone who can stand by your side and does not get destroyed by her problems."...
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"Marrying someone outside our etnicity will bring you more trouble than it's worth. You won't understand each other, his family will never accept you even if they treat you well and your love won't last. I don't want you to go through that honey so don't make that mistake." My mom stroked my head as I leaned onto her shoulder confused.
"What did you just say?" I watched with wide eyes. There's no way he heard everything! "How much did you- were you eavesdropping?!" My voice suddenly got high while I stood up fast and looked down at him.
"I overheard while I was looking for you." He also got up from the ground keeping his voice calm. "Marry me Sabrinna." He said quickly. Like it was an everyday sentence. It a second for the fact to sink in. "What?" I breathed, dazed.
Marry him?! Double what?! I didn't want my proposal to be like this. I didn't even think this was an actual proposal. Marry him?
"Marry me, Sabrinna." He said unaffected.
"No." Of course it will be an no. What is he thinking? My Eyes widened as I glared hard at him not believing what I just heard.
"It will only be a professional deal. No feelings involved."
"No!" I pressed, more serious now. And this time I became angry. Who does he think he is? A deal?! Like marriage is a job.
"We both need someone to marry and it will only be for a short time." He promised and then I remembered my father's words.
You have to marry Sabrinna. I can't leave you alone.
And I promised him. What if he dies worrying about me? I want him to know that I'll be okay. I want to assure him that I'm not alone. Maybe I can use Khaled just for a little while and he wants to use me too for whatever reason he has. Maybe we can both use each other to reach what we both want.
For a little while.
I think he saw what I was thinking through my expression. For the first time in a while I couldn't control my expression like I normally do. "Think about it, we both get what we want, divorce and walk our own way."
"Why do you want get married?" I asked. When I saw that he hesitated I narrowed my eyes. "I need to know if we're doing this." I can't believe we're doing this to be honest.
He ran his fingers through his jet black hair slightly massaging on their way. "I need to convince my father for him to hand the company to me whole. It will take long, knowing how he does not trust me. So I need someone who will not get attached to me easily to do this with." he said. I feel like there's something behind this story. Maybe it's not only his father he needs to prove himself to. Maybe there's someone else.
Khaled's phone went off and he fetched it from his pocket before saying to me "I need an answer as soon as possible." and went away from the rooftop.
I dropped on the ground, putting my head on my knees. I'm exhausted. I'm tired. It feels like I don't know what right from wrong. My head hurts when I try to think so I gave up. I want to let go everything.
**********
"Thank you." I said to the seller of the phone's shop I was in and grabbed the new package of the newest iPhone with my old number. I can feel that I will have trouble handling this iPhone because all my life I had a flip phone but I hope it got a clear instructions with it.
I don't remember how I got back home last night only that my head hurt a lot and everything was dizzy. But this morning when I woke up I felt lighter than ever. I really needed that sleep. The memories from yesterday however weren't so light. The more I try to overthink things the harder it will be to decide. What if I lose my father on the operation after I accept the doctor to operate him? But then again I will lose him anyway and it can be whenever.
I ripped open the package on my hand in the waiting room of the electronic shop and started the new phone. It took a few minutes to install the phone into my liking and it wasn't hard to find the call button. I dialed Dr Mickealson.
"Mickealson speaking." His deep voice answered .
"Hello this is Sabrinna, I called you to accept the proposal for my father's surgery." I said my heart raced. It felt right. I need to at least try something, I can't stay there and watch my father slipping away from me.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Alright then I want you to visit me sometime today to sign some papers regarding the aftermath of the operation." He said and after I agreed he hung up. The paper are for the responsibility I'll take if something happens under the operation that will cost the patient's life.
In these types of situations I refrain from thinking at all or I'll lose my mind. I am the type of person that overthinks a lot which leads to thinking of the worst scenarios possible.
I looked my phone to see the time and it read 7:30. I still had 30 mins til I begin my work at the office. I suddenly felt anxious when Khaled's image popped up in my mind. What will I tell him when I will see him at the Company? I didn't dare consider his proposal after last night and the fact that I considered for a second scared me.
My mom always reminded me to not get into a serious relationship with a man outside my ethnicity because we don't have the same culture nor language nor habits. Forget about Khaled, what will his family think about this? They would want their son to marry someone of their own not me.
What will my father Think of this on his death bed? Would he find this okay or be disappointing? I never heard my father having a problem with other people of color but no one truly knows what he feels inside.
Now this marriage will not be real just real enough for us to reach our desires but I've seen these types of situations on TV and I know that I'm stupid for comparing TV shows with real life but the couple always fall for each other before their contract ends. What if we end up like that too? Now I don't see myself falling for Khaled but do I want to take this risk? Do I want to lie to everyone? Father? My best friends? The world?
I took a cab from the shop and it took only 5 mins to get to the Company. I walked pass everyone who were giving me looks on first floor and went straight to the elevator which I pressed the button for it to come down. It seems like no one got used to me being here even though it's only my third day and I didn't got used to this job myself. While thinking about how I'll act if I meet Khaled the elevator opened.
I froze when I saw who was inside. It can't be her. Why is she here?
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