Wildflower (Kris Bryant)

16 Uncharted Territory

Serenity

I've never done many activities growing up. Did no sports, didn't hang out with friends much and never had to keep track of time if I was in my room all day just trying not to die. I would wake up, eat, read then go to bed. Didn't need a schedule for that. Never joined a club or anything that asked me for my time. So for me, trying to keep up with Kris' schedule is really hard. I make a layout a month in advanced then make sure to add in every little thing he needs to know. I set reminders each day and whenever I add something I shoot him a text. I color code his baseball stuff in blue and his family stuff in yellow. The little things like getting groceries or packing is purple and any time he has free is in baby blue. And I even leave cute little notes in green to help him along if I can't be there to tell him myself just how great he is.

As for today he was in New York taking on the Mets for a series and we had been face timing for a while now. He doesn't have to be at the park until 3 so we spent all morning talking to each other. It was supposed to be a work call but of course we got off track talking about whatever came to our minds.

"What do I have to do Thursday night" he asks me and I go and check the calendar I had next to me.

I look through the schedule and find Thursday with not a lot of color on it. "You have a Day game against the Cardinals and a team meal that morning but nothing else" I explain.

"Okay. So I want you to schedule us a date that night. You choose what we do" he says and I smile.

I look over at him as he sitting in his bed with the biggest smirk on his face. "We're scheduling dates now" I laugh.

"Yeah. I don't have to trick you into going outside of the apartment anymore so it's just easier this way" he shrugs.

"Well give me some time to think about a fun date and I'll put it on there" I promise.

"I can't wait. I know that whatever you decide I'll love it because I love... to be with you" he says slowly.

I turn and look at him suspiciously through the camera. Where I was a little too good at hiding my feelings, he was awful at it. Like I could read him like a Harry Potter book, easy. And although I cannot tell you what he was about to say I'm pretty sure it's the same thing he tried to tell me when we were at Jon and Farrah's house before Anthony interrupted him.

And as much as I wanted to tell him that I loved him too, I was scared. For I've read about love and I've talked about it but never had I fallen in love before. Never did I get theses feelings that were just as uncontrollable as they were strong. And it was hard for me to find the words because I'm so used to knowing what I feel and expressing it without hesitation. I don't have problems telling people what my real opinion is and why I feel that way.

But the thought of telling Kris I loved him terrified me. I was so scared to open myself up like that and not know what happens next. We're in uncharted territory here, I wasn't sure what to say. Because it's so much more than love to me, what him and I have is the greatest thing I've ever known and not even in the books do I read are people this happy. It's always "I love him but I don't know if I want to spend the rest of my life with him" or "I love him but we don't work well together."

But being with Kris is the easiest thing I've ever done. Him and I just work and I know that it's because of this love we share. Even if it's becoming a unspoken one.

"Hey, you good" he asks over the phone and I shake my head. I come back to reality as I send him a smile so he doesn't worry abut me.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just thinking that we should go try that new sushi place for our date and go to the zoo afterwards" I say.

"Oh I love the zoo" he cheers causing me to giggle.

"I know you do" I assure him.

"That sounds like a lot of fun. I can't wait" he smiles.

We talked all the way up until he had to go to the bus. Once we hang up I go over to his place to let Beatrice out and walk her. She was getting huge and I'm not sure how much longer she can stay at Kris's place. Her cage she stayed in turned into the spare room and if she knocks off one more lamp I think Kris is going to lose his mind. But she was a clumsy puppy still getting used to her growing size, you can't blame her.

Once she's taken care of I go through his mail and clean out his refrigerator. I know this isn't something a personal assistant or a girlfriend does, but it's a "I'm already here so I might as well" kind of thing.

I start to put his dishes away and I open the drawer. I see I pink posted note in there and get confused. I pick it up and see it was Kris' handwriting so I try to see what's going on.

"Dearest Ren,
I know you'll see this because I don't cook and I know for a fact this is your favorite spatula. I just wanted to say that you're a gift to this world and you mean the world to me. I can't wait until I'm back home sitting in the kitchen admiring how you dance around when you cook. I love that you have a playlist for everything and you never concern yourself with hiding who you are from me. You dance and you sing when you feel like and you live life the way it should be lived. Thank you for sharing your joy with me and I can't wait to see you again.

Love, Kris."

I smile as I pick the note off the spatula. Usually I'm the one who leaves him notes but this was perfect. I stick it in my clear phone case so I can look at it as much as I can. And then I will remember why I'm fighting so hard to stay alive in the first place.