Wildflower (Kris Bryant)

66 Don't Want To Go

Serenity

After a wonderful month and a half here in Arizona it was time that we start to pack up and head on home. There's was many reasons I wasn't ready to leave this place quite yet. For one I know it's still cold in Chicago and it's nice and warm here. I might have spent my whole life in Chicago but I know that this weather is something I shouldn't take for granted. Another thing is that there's boxes of things waiting for me there to put up in the house and I just don't feel like doing it. Also don't want have to get the dogs in the airplane again. I swear I'm going to have grey hairs from that alone.

But the guys were ready for the real baseball to start. They're past all the games that don't matter and being in mid season form and they're ready to show the world just how good they're going to be. And I don't know a lot about baseball, but something tells me that they're going to be very good this year.

So I start to pack everything up into Kris and I's luggage. I couldn't tell you the last time that man packed his own bag. In his defense I was still getting paid to do this even though it's more of a thing I enjoy doing so I can sneak him sweet little notes into his bags and programming and this way I know where he is when he's off playing somewhere. It was a win win win situation really.

"Hey baby" Kris says as he walks into our room. He had his uniform on and was ready to play in his last spring training game before he hit the real fields.

"Hey babe. You about to leave" I wonder.

Instead of answering me like a normal person he runs over to me and wraps me in a hug. I nearly fall onto the bed as he gives me the biggest hug ever. I place my hands on his arms as I try to comfort him from whatever was bothering him. "Woah" I laugh. "Is everything okay" I ask.

"I don't want to go" he mumbles.

"It's your last spring training game" I remind him.

"No" he sighs. "I mean I don't want to go home" he reiterates.

I turn around in his arms and pull his chin up so he had to look me in the eyes. I can see that this was really making him sad and it hurt my heart. So I softly cup his cheek and rest his head on my chest. "What's going on" I ask.

"I don't want to have to leave you like this all the time. I hate it" he explains.

I just run my fingers through his hair because I didn't know what to tell him. I hated it too. Watching him leave is so incredibly hard. And not because I don't trust him or I think he will get in trouble, but I love him in the way that without him I feel empty. And I have plenty to keep me busy when he's away, but only his presence keeps me happy.

"Being apart is hard, trust me, I know. You're the only man I've ever loved and not being able to tell you that every chance I get, it sucks. I wish I could sit here every day and count the ways I love you, find new ways to love you. But that's not how our relationship is going to happen and we have to respect that. We don't have to like it, I know I don't, but that's the way it was.

So it's okay if you're going to miss me. At least you have something to look froward to coming home to" I explain.

"I don't want to miss you though" he pouts.

"I know baby. I don't want to miss you either but the only thing that is going to make me feel whole again is having you by my side. So I'm willing to wait, however long it takes to be with you again" I promise.

We just sit there for a while as we held each other. I'm not sure if my words resonated with him or not, I don't even think they helped me much. But I'm happy we talked about this instead of trying to sweep it under the rug. It's good to know that he feels the same way I do when we're apart and he wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him.

"You're going to be late" I tell him. But instead of letting me go he just pulls me in tighter.

"A few more minutes like this" he begs.

"Of course" I promise him.

So I just hold him in my arms as he rested his head on my chest. I can see his eyes close as he just held me as tight as he could. I don't think he could let go if he wanted to.

"Can I take your book with me to the game" he finally asks me and I look at him weird.

"You've already read it" I remind him.

"Three times. But I like having it around when I can't have you" he claims.

So I reach over to the bag I was packing and hand him the book. He happily takes it from me as he holds it next to his side. "Are you going to release another book" he asks me.

"I haven't even released this one" I giggle.

"But you're really good at writing. This is my favorite book and not just because you wrote it. It's really good, you're really talented" he claims.

"Thank you baby. I would love to write another one but I want to see how this one does first" I defend. No point in writing when the books don't sell well enough to make it worth it.

"It's going to do great. This book... it's gonna change the world" he claims.

"I don't know about that" I insist.

"Well it's changed my world, and if you can change the world of everyone who read this then you did it" he claims.

"That would be something" I admit.

That would be something.