Wildflower (Kris Bryant)

23 Heart Break

Serenity

For once everyone in my family was together tonight for more than a few minutes at a time so we decided to all sit down and watch the Cubs game. It seemed like I was the only one in this family was wasn't into the Cubs before Kris came along. But now we got a pretty good reason to enjoy the games so we pull on our Cubs attire and find our spots in the living room to enjoy the game. We could have went to the game if we wanted, Kris would have gotten us tickets, but with my heart in the shape it's in a was a lot safer in a controlled environment like my home. But it doesn't stop my brothers for giving me shit because "I'm ruining the fun" since I can't handle being at the game.

"How do you think he'll do today" I ask my dad as we all get situated. I was picking up the rules of the game from him and I was getting better at it. Still needs some work though.

"I say he'll go 2 for 5 with a single and a home run. And to add a little more sauce he gets a stolen base too" he declares.

"I just need them to win" my older brother Landon says. "I got $20 on them" he insists.

"Isn't your wife about to have your child" I ask.

"Yeah, that's why she stayed home so she could get to bed early" he claims. I just roll my eyes because he loves her. I know he does. But he's painfully stupid in that department and I know she could do so much better.

The game starts and I keep my eyes on the screen. Every time Kris appeared or they talk about him I smiled so big. I loved that man so much that just thinking about him makes me happy. I'm lucky that I get to follow him even when we're not right next to each other. It's great that people think so highly of him and the best part is they don't know the half of it.

Low and behold he does get a home run in the fourth inning and we all jump up to celebrate. Landon was happy because that home run put the Cubs ahead so things were looking better for his bet he had going. I give everyone a happy high five before turning back to the tv. They show Kris smiling so big and it made me happy.

And that's when I felt it. I felt my heart take a big thud and then seem to stop. And not just skip a beat, for a few seconds it didn't beat at all. I immediately fall to the floor but catch myself with one hand as I grab my chest with the other. My breathing gets shorter and shorter until I was gasping for hair. My heart was still beating but it was all out of sync and I couldn't get it right again. 

"Ren! Ren baby what's wrong" my mom asks.

"Help" I beg as I fall to the floor. I roll onto my back as I stare at the ceiling. I'm pretty sure this was a heart attack, and if I was right I was in big trouble.

"I'm calling the ambulance" Warren yells as my parents rush to my side.

My mom picks me up a little as I fight to breathe. "Come on baby, stay with us. Keep breathing" she says as I try to keep my eyes open.

It felt like forever before the ambulance comes and they get me onto the stretcher. As soon as I get into the ambulance they hook me up with a bunch of different things and try to get some oxygen in me. I was getting cold so I know I wasn't getting blood flow through my body. And that usually means that a heart attack is underway and I needed to get to the hospital ASAP. But with each passing second it was harder and harder to breathe.

"Serenity please try to keep breathing. Stay with us" the emt says as she keeps her hand on my arm to track my pulse. I try my mightiest to stay awake but I couldn't breath. I couldn't see straight and I was so so tired.

But I stay with them until we get to the hospital. They take me to the emergency room where they hook me up to something that keeps my heart beating and the put a tube down my throat so I can breathe. I lay there as they try to get x-rays to see what was causing this and how to at least slow it down so we had time to figure some things out.

So I close my eyes for a little and focus on my breathing. Making sure I can get in deep breaths and that I stay alive. Although I'm not sure how much say I have in that.

Hours pass and I don't see my family or anything like that. Just doctors and nurses coming in and out of the room looking me over and poking me with different things. I try not to freak out but it's hard considering I don't know what's going on or what's gonna happen next.

Finally I see a familiar face but my heart breaks when I see its Kris. He's still in his Cubs uniform and I'm pretty sure the game was still going. But he was here wanting to see me and I'm stuck here with a bunch of stuff attached to me like some robot who is malfunctioning.

He walks over to me and sits down next to the bed. I see tears in his eyes as he looks me over. And that was the real moment my heart broke.

"I'm so sorry" he whispers.

I slowly reach over and grab his hand and I shake my head. This was the last thing I wanted to happen. I didn't want him here seeing me like this. I didn't want him to think that he couldn't save me because he already did way before today. I just wanted him playing baseball and smiling like always.

"I wish I could have stopped this from happening" he claims. "I wish I could have been there for you. I wish I could just find a heart for you and give it to you.

But I can't and now you're here. And I know you're mad I left the game but quiet frankly I don't care. I'm right where I need to be and I know I am. And I'm not leaving here until you do" he promises.

I lightly squeeze his hand and he rests his other one on top of mine. He squeezes me back as I try not to cry. But I feel the tear on my face as I start to sniffle. Kris quickly catches it and takes it away.

I wanted more than anything to be able to make it through this. And I want to do it so I can be with him for much longer than I have been. I wanted to get married and have kids and go to a day game with my family and Kris' too. There's way too much I still wanted to do, I wasn't ready to go just yet.