Wildflower (Kris Bryant)

40 Safe Place

Serenity

Whenever Kris is away it is pretty hard on me. I never did too well when I'm by myself, my parents can attest to that. My mind slips off to some crazy places and while I don't drink or smoke, getting stuck in your head can be just as bad. Especially for someone who was walking that thin line between life and death so long. I always find myself slipping into some dark corner and not allowing myself to get back up. The mind can be a scary place, filled with our fears and our regrets. No one is prone to these things, we all have our demons. Even the girl who never did anything growing up, I never experience those bad things but I was scared of everything because I knew nothing.

But while building this life I have now I made it so my mind would never go to those places again. I have friends and family around at any given point and this house we built is filled with things I love and appreciate around every corner. I have my books and my dogs and pictures to remind me there's no place in this world where the sun can't shine if you let it.

So I go to my little nook and pick out a book. This was my safe place and I know that I can always come here when my heart hurts, whether it be because I missed Kris like crazy or life is getting to me. I don't have much to complain about with the way my life is going right now, but I still feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I am trying to write a book that goes against social convention and I am still learning how to be in a real relationship. Date a famous person at that. But it never gets too dark when you have a guy like Kris to brighten your world.

I open up the book and go to read it but I stop. On the front of the inside cover was a post it note and I look at it weird. We bought all these books new, there shouldn't be anything in here.

I pick up the posted note and I immediately recognize Kris' handwriting. I start to read the little note as the biggest smile spreads across my face.

"Dear Serenity,
One of my favorite things about you is that you can make any place in this world yours. I could move us anywhere and you could make a beautiful home. You make the most simple things seem incredible and the bad is never that bad with you. I love the way your smile brightens the darkest days and your soft voice is like music to my ears. I love you so much Serenity and there's so many reasons I do, this is just one.
Love, Kristopher"

I take the sticky note out of the cover and I put it up on the window so I can always look at it. I just shake my head as I think about how special this love I have is and how blessed I am. Little things like this that don't seem like much makes a world of difference. To know he sat there and thought about this and decided that if and when it was the right time I would read this means everything to me. The effort he puts into this relationship is stunning considering what's constantly being asked of him. But he always takes the time to remind me that he loves me, and for that I am so thankful. I decide to call Kris and thank his personally.

"What's up" he answers his phone.

I pinch my phone between my shoulder and ear as I go to pick up my book again. "I just opened one of our books and it had the most beautiful message in it" I accuse.

"Oh, so you did see them" he cheers and I smile.

"Them" I ask.

"Yeah" he says, "I put a post it note in every single book" he claims and I smile big.

"Kris there's like 200 books here" I remind him.

"I know! And yet there's still so many more reasons I love you. I wanted this to be done when we moved in but it took some time to write them all out and get them in the books without you knowing. You know the only time you really leave the house is when I'm with you" he teases and I smile.

"I just want to be where you are" I admit.

"And I love that about you. I think that post it note is in one of your science fiction books" he claims.

"What made you want to do this" I wonder.

"You" he claims and I stop. "You do this kind of stuff for me all the time and I recognize that. I see what you do and all the time you spend making sure I know you love me. And I never forget it, there's reminders everywhere. And just like how you leave me cute little notes I wanted to leave mine in places I always know you're going to be" he claims.

"I'm going to put them up on the window by the nook so I can always see them" I say.

"So you like them" he asks.

"I love them" I promise.

We talk for a little while before he had to go take on the Mets for the NLCS. This is the first time in a long time that they've been in the CS and considering last year this team didn't even win 70 games, for them to be here is pretty cool. This was a big deal and Kris was soaking all of it up. For the first year in the majors he was having a damn good time and I'm just happy to be a part of it.

So I finally start to read my book and hours passed me by. This was one that Kris picked out which was pretty awesome. He had some good taste in books which was a super plus for me.

Eventually the sun starts to set and I decide I should probably entertain the dogs before they decide to entertain themselves by ripping up my pillows again. So I take them to our pretty empty back yard and let them run. I throw the ball and we play tug of war. Once I get them tired out we return inside and turn the TV on to watch dad play some baseball. So we cuddle up in our spots and I listen to the announcers go on and on about how great Kris is.

If only they knew the half of it.